battlebound: (32)
𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚔; ([personal profile] battlebound) wrote in [community profile] jikan_rpg 2022-06-08 08:31 pm (UTC)

( Steak has never thought himself a coward, but perhaps he is, in his own way. It's so much easier to use the cloak of duty and pragmatism to hide complex truths, and so much easier to do that when he doesn't have to look Red Wine in the face.

But he does. Of course he does. Because Steak may be a coward when it comes to these sorts of feelings, but he can't have Red Wine point that fact out.

So, in the name of foolish pride, he drags his eyes up and takes in all of Red Wine — the way his ears have shifted, the flush of colour on his cheeks, the anger that's so unlike their usual frustrations with each other — before the words come rushing out;
)

What do you want me to tell you?! That I was terrified? That my last thoughts were how I wanted to return to you? To Gingerbread? To our Attendant?!

( Sometimes, when floodgates open, they're hard to stop, and so Steak keeps going, caught in the rapids of his emotions, of all the terror and doom that memory pulled back to the surface. )

Of course I wanted to stay with you, you're my—

( There have been many times before this, though rarely to Red Wine's face, where Steak would have said brother in arms to finish out that sentence.

But he doesn't.

Because something in Steak is no longer sure that's quite the words which apply.
)

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