He said nothing as Riley spoke about those two. As much as he wanted to deny that his people could be like that-they knew better!-Cheng also knew that this story was no different than other stories of other people treating their partners so horribly. A small part of him wished he wasn't affiliated with that because of where he came from. Baiyi sounded like a cultivator with how he treated Vegas. And one who thought that with age came might-something Cheng believed in until he'd been knocked down several pegs.
The tears came and he pursed his lips together, reaching up with one hand to gently thumb them away. Yes, he understood what it was like to be used. He knew what it was like to have bonds shatter- and he'd rather have them than a qi deviation, personally. At the praise, his cheeks and ears pinkened and Cheng had to try not to be distracted.
"I wish I could say that the people from my time are not all like that but... that seems to be a common thing. Especially those who gain power and believe that might makes right." Oh, how he knew that was a devil's path! "It seems clear to me that this Baiyi has never had the burden of caring for people to ensure their health and safety beyond a passing lover, if that. And that this Xie...doesn't seem like he has had an independent thought of his own. That saddens me because it is something that is painfully common from my time-to be set in the roles you were given and never once consider a different one. All that they have done? It is not a reflection on you. How they treated you shows who they are as an individual and I understand the pain of loving the wrong person."
All too well. All painfully too well from his past life and this one now.
Cheng enfolds Riley's hands in his own again, swallowing. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I was...I was afraid of the same happening to me again. I don't want to be treated as I have in the past, nor do I want to continue a cycle that keeps it going to the next generation. What you and Will have is... special. And it should be cherished because I don't see it often. I'm glad you're better now," he continues with a rough voice, drawing Riley's hands to his forehead briefly. "And that Will allowed me to help support both of you, even if there was nothing that could be done to wake you. I don't want to become a Baiyi or Xie that gets in the way of your bond with him."
He has no idea how any of this works. And what he wants or would like to explore is nothing compared to people loving one another. He knows that he would never be the same to the Fae as they were to each other and he can't be jealous of that-after all, no one has acted like Cheng hung the stars for them-not unless they were coerced to say so. Not unless they were afraid of losing him to another. The realization that this was a true statement in several instances hurt his heart. He's tired of the walls he needed to maintain.
"I... don't know what you want from me. With all of this dating. I...don't know how to understand that people like you-from ages and ages into the future, have treated me better than the people who are from the same time and similar culture and customs as I. I like the concept and I want to learn more, but I don't want to hurt the both of you, either."
Does he love them? Not in that deeply, intimately romantic way. He doesn't know them well enough! But he likes them enough to know that if there was a rift, they'd choose each other. And, honestly, he expects that. He doesn't remember anyone really coming to stand by his side without wanting a favor, or remaining transient because someone else was more important than him.
no subject
The tears came and he pursed his lips together, reaching up with one hand to gently thumb them away. Yes, he understood what it was like to be used. He knew what it was like to have bonds shatter- and he'd rather have them than a qi deviation, personally. At the praise, his cheeks and ears pinkened and Cheng had to try not to be distracted.
"I wish I could say that the people from my time are not all like that but... that seems to be a common thing. Especially those who gain power and believe that might makes right." Oh, how he knew that was a devil's path! "It seems clear to me that this Baiyi has never had the burden of caring for people to ensure their health and safety beyond a passing lover, if that. And that this Xie...doesn't seem like he has had an independent thought of his own. That saddens me because it is something that is painfully common from my time-to be set in the roles you were given and never once consider a different one. All that they have done? It is not a reflection on you. How they treated you shows who they are as an individual and I understand the pain of loving the wrong person."
All too well. All painfully too well from his past life and this one now.
Cheng enfolds Riley's hands in his own again, swallowing. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I was...I was afraid of the same happening to me again. I don't want to be treated as I have in the past, nor do I want to continue a cycle that keeps it going to the next generation. What you and Will have is... special. And it should be cherished because I don't see it often. I'm glad you're better now," he continues with a rough voice, drawing Riley's hands to his forehead briefly. "And that Will allowed me to help support both of you, even if there was nothing that could be done to wake you. I don't want to become a Baiyi or Xie that gets in the way of your bond with him."
He has no idea how any of this works. And what he wants or would like to explore is nothing compared to people loving one another. He knows that he would never be the same to the Fae as they were to each other and he can't be jealous of that-after all, no one has acted like Cheng hung the stars for them-not unless they were coerced to say so. Not unless they were afraid of losing him to another. The realization that this was a true statement in several instances hurt his heart. He's tired of the walls he needed to maintain.
"I... don't know what you want from me. With all of this dating. I...don't know how to understand that people like you-from ages and ages into the future, have treated me better than the people who are from the same time and similar culture and customs as I. I like the concept and I want to learn more, but I don't want to hurt the both of you, either."
Does he love them? Not in that deeply, intimately romantic way. He doesn't know them well enough! But he likes them enough to know that if there was a rift, they'd choose each other. And, honestly, he expects that. He doesn't remember anyone really coming to stand by his side without wanting a favor, or remaining transient because someone else was more important than him.