This was what Cheng had been struggling with ever since he agreed to meet up with Huaisang. As much as he wanted an apology…was it worth it? Words were just that. This Huaisang had no memory of what happened. And truthfully, he agreed to meet with Cheng, so that was already an improvement. But what exactly did Cheng want out of this?
His family was essentially dead. He and Wangji never really got along and all that was really left of his world who was ‘alive’ was Huaisang. Cheng didn’t know what the living situation was in the Unclean Realm but he had to assume that Huaisang and Mingjue were living together. As much as Cheng wanted to separate himself from the stagnant past, he also wanted that comforting familiarity. And deep down, he didn’t want Huaisang floundering if he received the same treatment as Cheng did, one day. Instead of blurting out his frustrations, he drank his tea, using the time to formulate a proper response.
“We were lovers, Huaisang.”
Did that admission have less bite to it than Cheng was anticipating? He had no idea. Still, he pressed on, setting his tea cup down. “At least, that’s how I thought of it. It…I don’t believe it was a good match. We wanted different things. And if it still stands, there was a room for me in the Unclean Realm, filled with the elements that made Lotus Pier home. When I left, I took only what I had brought with me initially-and no, I don’t want anything if it hadn’t been destroyed.” That he needed to make clear.
“As for an apology, we both are well aware that it is not the words that hold weight, but actions. The fact that you were willing to meet with me at all is proof that things will be different. And we’re in a tea house, not a room in an inn.” What else did he need to say? Nothing, really. Anything more would result in emotion and things his silvered tongue wanted to use as weapons and to be truthful, that would help no one. So when he finished, his eyes shifted from Huaisang’s face to his tea cup and proceeded to refill it. In hindsight, it was good they weren’t in a tavern. He wouldn’t be using cups for the wine that was offered.
no subject
His family was essentially dead. He and Wangji never really got along and all that was really left of his world who was ‘alive’ was Huaisang. Cheng didn’t know what the living situation was in the Unclean Realm but he had to assume that Huaisang and Mingjue were living together. As much as Cheng wanted to separate himself from the stagnant past, he also wanted that comforting familiarity. And deep down, he didn’t want Huaisang floundering if he received the same treatment as Cheng did, one day. Instead of blurting out his frustrations, he drank his tea, using the time to formulate a proper response.
“We were lovers, Huaisang.”
Did that admission have less bite to it than Cheng was anticipating? He had no idea. Still, he pressed on, setting his tea cup down. “At least, that’s how I thought of it. It…I don’t believe it was a good match. We wanted different things. And if it still stands, there was a room for me in the Unclean Realm, filled with the elements that made Lotus Pier home. When I left, I took only what I had brought with me initially-and no, I don’t want anything if it hadn’t been destroyed.” That he needed to make clear.
“As for an apology, we both are well aware that it is not the words that hold weight, but actions. The fact that you were willing to meet with me at all is proof that things will be different. And we’re in a tea house, not a room in an inn.” What else did he need to say? Nothing, really. Anything more would result in emotion and things his silvered tongue wanted to use as weapons and to be truthful, that would help no one. So when he finished, his eyes shifted from Huaisang’s face to his tea cup and proceeded to refill it. In hindsight, it was good they weren’t in a tavern. He wouldn’t be using cups for the wine that was offered.