jikan_rpg | 🎵 But tonight I'm getting wasted 'cause not everything is black or white 🎶

Something on your mind?

[Ranpo doesn't miss a beat as he climbs up onto the bar stool next to Genbu, noting his agitation well before he's slammed the beer on the counter. For his part, he's only ordering a soda -- since at least one of them should probably be sober right now.]

[...not that Ranpo's gonna be able to carry him back if he gets too shitface, but still.]

It's pretty unusual to see you in such an obvious bad mood.

[Genbu slams his drink down and stares at the glass, his mind preoccupied. As usual, he didn't hear Ranpo. Or rather, since he wasn't focused on him, he didn't quite register the situation, but he heard a voice of some kind. It takes him a moment to look around, only to jump just a bit when he sees a familiar face sitting next to him.]

AGH-Oh, Ramps, quite a coincidence to see ya here. Was...that yer voice?

Obviously. Did you forget the sound of it already?

[Not even gonna comment on today's nickname.]

Something wrong? You must be pretty deep in your own thoughts to just ignore me.

Deep in my thoughts, deep in my cups... ain't my first time, that's fer sure...

[Genbu loosens his grip on his ale, and crosses his arms as they rest on the counter.]

Ya already know my horns don't work like they should. If I ain't focused on somethin', it simply just doesn't register. I hear a voice. I can't process how it sounds or what it's sayin'. And... nothin's really wrong, I reckon, just... thinkin' about a whole lotta stuff.

[Boy, Genbu's off-kansaiben is extra strong right now it seems.]

[He's half tempted to push that drink aside as he looses his grip on it, but for now, he won't bother. He's hardly in a position to lecture about moderation.]

Hmm... well, I guess we could just keep talking around it. Or I could just ask--

[Slides on his glasses like the chuunibyou he is, giving Genbu a long look before turning back to the bar with a hum.]

...it's about Fukuda-san, right?

...I suppose he started the whole thing, yeah.

[Genbu swivels around the mug in his hand, trying to think of what to say.]

I really went off on him when he confessed. It's just...thinking about the poor souls, and knowing the last thing they see is some maniac about to shove a drill in their brain, I...I saw red. Said a lot of things I regret...

And I tried by best to forget, but then I meet another guy who calls himself 'Scorpion', or did at least. Confesses he murdered innocents as well. Says he's tryin' to make a new identity and life now. Sounded like he was tryin' to conveniently get away from his crimes. Once again I went off.

And here I am, feelin' guilty somethin' fierce.

...you're not wrong for feeling that way. If anything, that's probably how most people in Nippon would see it.

And I'm sure the native populace would have a lot more reservations about the time refugee program if they knew serial killers and assassins from other worlds were being brought here.

[Whether or not the NRL consciously chooses to ignore especially evil people stuck in time loops, he's not sure. But they haven't made a move to do anything about those who've committed crimes back home. Not that they'd have an legal jurisdiction to do so in the first place.]

Obviously I understand how you feel, too. I'm a detective, after all -- I've caught hundreds of criminals over the years. I've seen people kill for all sorts of reasons. And even if they have a reason, it can be hard for some people to overlook the fact that someone still died in the end.

Yeah...

[Genbu is now just staring at his drink. Perhaps he's tired of being buzzed now and only wants to sober up. The bartender seems to have gone to that conclusion as he takes the mug away from him and replaces it with a glass of water.]

Do...do I even have the right to be angry? After all, am I truly so innocent as to act like some goody two shoes that gets angry at murderers? I've fought armies, ya know. Armies of a tyrannical empire...but that doesn't necessarily mean everyone in that army is evil. Maybe some are innocent, only wanting to support their families...and I ended up killin' 'em anyways.

I don't think I'm in a position to answer that. The war was over by the time I was old enough to understand it. And even if I did, I don't think my answer would make a difference.

But I'd say the fact that this is bothering you at all is probably your answer.

[Surely he wouldn't be sitting here drowning his sorrows if he thought his anger was 100% justified? Considering what Ranpo's learned about Genbu in all this time, it doesn't surprise him that something like this would get to him. Not everyone is prepared to accept a world of gray-moralities.]

[There's plenty of gray moralities in Eorzea. So naturally Genbu should be prepared for them.

And yet...

What exactly was it that was bothering Genbu? He still couldn't figure it out.]

I dunno, man. Ya say 'theres my answer' but...somehow I'm still at a loss. Though I sound like a broken record at this point.

[Genbu sighs.] Heh...ya'd think someone who went through the things I've went through would be much wiser.

[There's an easy answer here, and one Ranpo could give that might satisfy Genbu enough to calm his mind for the night. But would it be the right answer? As far as Ranpo's concerned, the only one who can figure that out is Genbu himself.]

[But that doesn't mean he can't try and lead him down the right path.]

Do you think it would help to talk about it? The things you've gone through. Maybe the answer is buried somewhere you forgot?

And if it isn't... well, maybe it can get your mind on something else for a while?

Oh Ranpo...if I started talkin' about all the things I went through.... we'd be here an entire week!

[Genbu weakly smiles at Ranpo, reaching over and gently pinching his cheek.]

Hmm...why don't ya just give me a random scenario? I bet somethin' related has happened to me.

A random scenario...? I don't know about that. Our worlds are pretty different, aren't they...

[Well, perhaps they are on the surface. But every world has its darkness. Some more than others.]

[...]

Let's say there's someone you need to stop. A dangerous assassin who killed 35 innocent people, with an ability so dangerous, you're ordered to kill on sight, or risk getting killed yourself. This person would be executed for their crimes if they were caught regardless. But you're the one who finds them.

Assuming you'd be able to do it, do you think it would be wrong to kill them?

[He's building to something here.]

...I

[No, Genbu had to think.]

Killing 35 innocent people...of course the natural thing would be to kill them on sight, right? But I suppose maybe we should stop and think why he killed those people. Was it out of boredom? Some assassins are sellswords, right? So maybe for coin? If they did it just for those reasons... I'd probably kill them. Or at the very least subdue 'em and let the authorities decide. But what if he's being threatened or forced to...say maybe someone's threatenin' to kill someone close to him?

[It was then that Genbu realized.]

Just like...that scorpion guy...I never stopped to ask why he ordered that village to be burned down...

Ahh, that's right. The reasons people kill... maybe in the eyes of the law that doesn't matter. But when making your own decisions, I think it's important to consider. Everyone has a reason for this things they do. And I think that says a lot more about the content of someone's character.

[...]

So how about this one? A young man dedicates his life to helping people. With his help, millions of lives are saved from a disaster.

But just four years prior-- that same man was responsible for countless atrocities as part of a criminal organization. He murdered hundreds of people for no reason at all. Sometimes under orders, sometimes for money, and sometimes for revenge. Some were even tortured to death.

He feels no guilt, but he feels happy when he's helping people, and will never return to that life of crime.

If you learned that about such a person-- do you think it would be just to kill them?

I...I don't know...

[Genbu truly seems torn.]

It's a hard scenario to imagine...is there even such a person who can change their mind like that? What changed them? Unless they were hypnotized or...lost their memories or somethin'...how can someone who's spent a good chunk of their life killin' people guilt-free...Suddenly just change like that?

Anyone is capable of change. It's one of the things that makes humans human, if you ask me.

[...]

And one more. I think this one might be closer to something you'd be familiar with: a man joins the army, and quickly climbs the ranks. For the sake of his country and his fellows soldiers, he kills those who stand to cause them harm. He kills when given orders to do so, and is soon promoted to General. He becomes world-renowned as a great war hero, and even children come to know his name.

Even though he killed far more people than the previous two... do you still think this makes him a good person?

...Well...does he know anythin' about the army he's joined? Their goals, what they mainly are for, who their enemies are?

Does the army boast about conquering lands? Conquering "savages"?

Now that I think about it...I wonder if Garleans who join the army are even aware...?

[That last bit he murmurs to himself, eyes wide, as if he just realized something. But then he sadly laughs.]

Ya know, when I told ya to name a scenario and I'd tell ya if I ever dealt with such a thing, I thought you'd say something like "fought a dragon" or whatever.

Asking if you'd fought a dragon wouldn't help you in figuring out why all of this bothering you. So instead-- I gave you scenarios based on the people I know back home.

[When Genbu asked whether such a person could possibly exist-- it was almost funny, really. If Ranpo weren't surrounded by people seeking to change their past, he might not have believed such a person like Dazai could possible exist himself.]

The first... is a fourteen year old girl cursed with an ability she can't control, manipulated into becoming an assassin for the mafia. She never wanted to kill anyone. But if it weren't for our agency shielding her, she would have been executed regardless.

The second was only a child when he committed his crimes, and spent most of those years tormented by thoughts of suicide. And now, he's one of the best detectives we have, besides myself. And someone I consider a good friend.

And third...

[The one that Ranpo thought might best challenge Genbu's line of thinking, the ideal war hero:]

...is the man currently trying to destroy my world.

Night is when Kuro has free reign of the streets. While hanging out in cat form was a comfortable way to spend time in it's own way, not being underfoot of passerby was far more useful for actually getting anywhere.

As for 'where' he was headed.... well, he'd just wanted a walk, really. Cool night air to clear his head.

Well, aside from the scent of alcohol coming from that guy on the bench over there.

...Wait a second--

He knows that guy.

He approaches quietly, standing behind the bench by the time Genbu asks that heavily loaded question. He's silent for a long moment in response-- no greeting, no question about why he'd ask for such a thing.

"...I'd say I have no room to judge, personally." His voice is soft; the low, deep cadence carrying something melancholic in it for a brief moment.

"But as for what I'd do... It would depend on 'why' they don't."

"Whaddya mean no room to judge? Ya sayin' ya killed innocents, too?"

Genbu sighed. Gods he was too drunk for this. He'll worry about it later. For now...

"Anyroad...Iunno why they stopped. The guy I talked to didn't say...just said he doesn't do it anymore. I got too angry at that point to ask him to explain...but it wasn't wrong for me to react like that...right? So why do I feel so...weird?"

"I was too weak, and people died for it. There's a reason I hate drinking blood, Y'know." He sighs. "And the last time..." He pauses, something tense in his expression. No, he won't go there. "But... I regret all of it, though. I haven't taken a life in hundreds of years."

He settles carefully on the bench next to Genbu. Murder is... both complicated and simple. To take a life is a heavy thing, something you can never change. Regardless the variety of reasons people did it, nothing could truly excuse the taking of a life. But being as old as he is, he understood it happened everyday, for a variety of reasons. What matters in Kuro's mind, was--

"...People make choices for all sorts of reasons, murder included. And I know it's harsh to say it that way, believe me. Taking a life, any human life is a crime you can never undo, but living with it is the only way someone can try to make up for it. Knowing why he did it, and why he stopped, is really the only way to decide who he is now. If he realizes what he did was wrong..."

Well, that said something, didn't it?

"But at the same time, you have a choice too. You don't have to accept people if they've done something you find horrible, either. What you can tolerate as a person is individual to you, and no one would blame you for rejecting someone over it."

Genbu listens, his heart growing heavier as the voice spoke about his life, and his morals. Genbu senses the young man had sat down next to him, and so he looks to his side.

Kuro...?

Oh right, the guy did mention he was a vampire. Vampires drink blood, right? Genbu didn't want to accept it, but they usually...kill people to drink their blood, right?

Was that perhaps the reason why he refuses to do it now? Why he made such a reaction when Genbu offered his own blood?

"...I...can't say I'm completely okay with ya takin' a life, especially if ya probably took an innocent one. But...ya did it because ya had to, right? Survival?

What if they said they did it simply for sport? Granted I...never really gave 'em the chance to explain their reason. I was so blinded by rage that I just assumed...and left. I suppose that's why it's weighin' so heavily on my mind."

Edited 2021-05-31 09:43 (UTC)

"Survival? No. I can survive without, it just weakens me." He's technically telling the truth. Yes, he's also technically starving himself of the necessary life energy to function, but starvation doesn't kill a Servamp. It was better than the alternative by far. "But that guy in my head liked to take control every night, before I got help from a friend to weaken him."

Genbu might remember that conversation.

'He won't let me play anymore...' 'You'd eat people.'

"That's why I said, the reason matters. And if it's weighing on you that much, maybe you should ask him. Not for his sake, but your own. You don't have to accept him-- You don't even have to change your mind about him. But if it's weighing on you enough to make you drink, then maybe you need to address it." Because Genbu was a decent person, a kind person. He deserved a clear conscious, regardless of what choice he made here. "Communication is... hard. But it's better than making assumptions, or mistakes you can't take back."

Genbu scoffs, before weakly laughing, clearly at himself.

"Ask him?? Ya think I can face him after all those things I said to him?"

Genbu hides his head in his hands, dizzy from being drunk. "I've said some awful things to him. There's no way I can talk to him now!"

Granted Fukuda didn't know it was Genbu who was saying those things, but...well Genbu didn't know.

[ Coming in for a drink and this was the last sight Johnny had been expected to be met with as he'd approached the bar and signaled for a drink.

Genbu was usually all smiles and jokes, but the look and sound of that curse was something he wasn't used to seeing on the larger man.

Settling down on the seat next to him, Johnny stayed quiet for a moment before clearing his throat. ]

Hey, are you alright?

[Genbu, too focused in his inner turmoil, could only jump as he heard a voice ring in his horns from his side. He quickly turns towards the source, relaxing once he's met with a familiar face.]

Oh, Johnny! Ya startled me! I, uh...care to repeat that, friend?

[ ...this man doesn't look well.

Klaus looks him over, winces with just a bit of pity, and clears his throat. He has an aching suspicion... ]

...this is about the hole guy, isn't it.

The...huh? Oh...

[Genbu looks up, startled by the toothy voice at first, only to remember who it came from.]

Oh, it's you. The healer, right? Claws?

[ ...this guy looks wasted as hell, so Klaus isn't going to bother correcting him. ]

That's me.

And you...gods, this is awkward.

Genbu.

[He replies, assuming the man was trying to remember his name but couldn't.] Don't feel bad! We only met once. No hard feelin's

Heine hates the sun, so most days he mostly sleeps into the evening, then heads out at night. He's out on one of his night walks, burning out some extra energy, when he hears a familiar voice.

The albino looks over at Genbu slouched on the bench, his hands in his pockets. The question makes him want to walk away, and he nearly does, turning away from him. He changes his mind, sighing, and walks over to approach the drunken giant.

He bends, putting a hand on Genbu's shoulder when he gets close enough. "I'd say you've had too much to drink, and I'm going to walk you home."

"Eh??" Genbu looks up, his expression soft when he sees a familiar sight.

"Oh, Hana-chan. I..." A hiccup, "yeah...I suppose I got rather too deep in my cups this time, huh..."

Genbu swings his legs to and fro, sulking.

Heine sighs at being called Hana again, though once again he doesn't bother correcting Genbu. He's not even sure if the guy will remember any conversation they have anyway. He keeps his hand on his shoulder, moving to put his arm around him, if just to steady him and make sure his swinging doesn't pitch him forward.

"Have you had any water?" It was pretty clear that there was something weighing heavily on Genbu. He's not sure if he should pry, but he can help take care of the physical ailments first before he tries tackling the mental.

Genbu allows himself to be picked up, and sways as he tries to balance himself with his arm around Heine's shoulder.

"...No..." Genbu says sheepishly, like a little child reluctantly answering an angry mother.

"I sure could go for some, though..."

Edited 2021-06-04 02:13 (UTC)

That makes the albino huff in exasperation, his expression turning suffering as he closes his eyes for a moment and frowns.

"Fuck, look at this mess you've made of yourself. You know it won't fix anything right?"

Just like after their fight, Heine is scolding him. The air he gives off is one of annoyed displeasure, but he half carries Genbu on a march towards the hotel he'd booked here for the night. He doubts that he really would have gotten coherent directions from Genbu where he was staying, if the guy even thought that far ahead before drinking into the middle of the night.

"I'll get you water."

"Leave me alone..." Is all Genbu can muster in a rather pathetic whine. It sounds almost exhausted, like this has happened before.

But he allows himself to be carried, a miracle how they even managed to get to the hotel, considering Genbu's towering height.

🎵 But tonight I'm getting wasted 'cause not everything is black or white 🎶

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