"Nothing!" It's a reflexive response well noted with defensive posturing. Cheng has enough presence to look chagrined at his own outburst as his hands curl into fists on his thighs and then forcibly relax.

He inhales once and then slowly releases it before speaking. "I ... don't know what to expect. From this." Great. He's fairly certain that Huaisang must be thinking about the whole ordeal abstractly. Cheng looks up with a half disgusted, half annoyed expression on his face. "I knew this was going to be part of the job--eventually. Anyone who asked, I refused-which I'm allowed to do. And another staff member would take my place. And I want..." He can't quite get the words out of his throat and falls comically silent, almost shivering from the stress of forcing himself to remain and not run away. He was not a peacock.