jikan_rpg | ✵ [Jan Catchall] Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist.

[It would have been easy to dismiss the question with a jovial answer, but Red Wine is in a mood to be honest about his feelings. The prideful and boastful way that he goes about his day to day life isn't entirely a front, but nor is it all there is to him. Dohalim already knows how gentle he can be, how soft-hearted, but they have never had a conversation quite like this.

He doesn't really catch on to the connection between what he said at the party and what he says now, but the connection is there none the less. Like falling, both then and now, and he doesn't mind either occasion.

Ah, how frightening, indeed...

The soft kiss tingles against his lips and he smiles a little at Dohalim's reply, bringing a hand up to slide it over his shoulder and grip lightly against the firm muscle.]

It might not. But you know... [Idly, he thumbs at the warm skin under his hand.] It's far more fun if you're not doing it alone.

[the flush creeping up on Dohalim's cheeks is ignorable for now as his smile widens slightly; he never would have known he'd be able to feel this happy again. the contentedness that falls over him, not unlike sitting outside in the park with his friends again, playing their violins and enjoying each other's company. those were the only times he felt any sort of happiness, but this... this is different. it's that and so much more; it's like an ever filling cup he can't stop drinking from.

Red Wine's company alone and any unspoken words between them is enough. enough that he can hold whatever feelings he has for the man close to him, and not fear ruining what they have by saying something out of pocket. but when he says that, Dohalim can't help but feel his heart skip a beat for a moment; suddenly he feels like he's also toeing that edge, shifting ever closer. it's a leap of faith, but is it one he's willing to take? perhaps, like he's said himself, it may not be so bad to jump, especially with Red Wine]

Hm...

[slipping a hand between them, Dohalim rests it gently over the other man's chest, right over his heart]

I think... I'd like it. Falling with you.

[For all the rough ways that Red Wine might handle Dohalim physically, he has always been gentle with the man's emotions. In those times when he would push him to his limits, there was always a point where he would stop and make sure he felt all right, that it wasn't too much...

In hindsight, he was foolish for thinking that he could keep his heart out of this entirely, but how deeply and how swiftly he had fallen for this man had surprised even him.

Red Wine's pulse beats strong and solid under Dohalim's hand, and he presses his own against it to hold it to his chest. He smiles, warm and soft, and he doesn't need to say the words themselves to understand what the two of them had just confessed.]

I think I'd like that, too. [And then he pulls him in, his free hand pushed into Dohalim's hair and gripping gently at it. The kiss he presses to the man's lips isn't really like any other he has given him before. It's heated but gentle, soft with a touch of desperation about it. Still holding that one hand to his chest he slides his free arm around the other man's shoulders, gripping lightly against the skin with his fingertips.]

You truly are a marvel.

[it's almost like an explosion in his chest as he hears those words, to have his feelings seemingly reciprocated. it's more than just a desire for Red Wine's company, it's nearly a burning need to be by his side. but there's also a softer side to it, one that blooms within and warms him, one that causes more of those fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

is this what love is like? Dohalim had read many a poetic piece on the subject, and had even talked to not only Red Wine, but some others about it. if it is, he almost doesn't want to be too hopeful about it, as if he's worried that it might slip from his fingers; he doesn't want to lose this feeling. for the first time in so long, he's truly happy, and while frightening as it is that it could be gone in an instant, he holds the warm feeling close to his heart.

as he kisses the Food Soul, he matches it with his own gentle desperation, not wanting this moment, and feeling to end. there's still that blooming feeling in his chest even as they pull away, a small smile on his lips at Red Wine's words. but before he could say anything back, in the corner of his eye he sees an odd thing; rose buds entwining themselves in his wavy locks, blooming into the fullest miniature red roses. a flush creeps up on his cheeks as he reaches up with his free hand to carefully pluck at the delicate petals, before huffing out a soft laugh, shaking his head]

I suppose these say more than any words I could say, right now.

Ah... Hm.

[The small smile on Red Wine's face is held mostly in his eyes as his fingers brush around the edge of one of those tiny roses, then quickly move to take hold of Dohalim's hand instead. He pulls the man's fingers to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to them.

There are other things he could say right now - things he might like to say, maybe, had he the nerve - but he isn't sure that Dohalim is really ready to hear it.

Perhaps another time.]

They look good on you.

[And maybe that would be a compliment that the man would actually be able to take.]

Do you think so?

[he smiles softly at the kiss brushed against his fingertips; his other hand coming up to gently pluck at a bloom. as he pulls it out of his hair, Dohalim almost expects it to hurt for some reason, but it doesn't. kizuna magic is still such an odd subject that really, anything about it would surprise him, easily.

but he pushes that curiosity away for the time being as he tucks the rose in Red Wine's hair, behind his ear, before leaning in for another quick kiss]

Perhaps I should find a way to have them in my hair whenever I'm with you.

If they're appearing now, I expect we'll see them again.

[He tips his head up slightly to catch that kiss but doesn't chase it, instead settling his shoulders back down again and getting comfortable right where he is. Things feel different right now, somehow. An unspoken confession has passed between them and the gravity of it has not escaped Red Wine.

The question that he must ask himself is... would Dohalim be able to truly accept it, even if he reciprocated?

Red Wine reaches up, wraps one arm around the other man and pulls him down snugly against him.]

Are there any other minor, inconsequential facts about me that it might please you to know?

[Dohalim hums softly to himself as he thinks of another question to ask Red Wine, now wanting to learn more of the smaller tidbits about the man. maybe learn something favourable that he can tuck away and surprise him with at a later date and time, if it calls for it]

What do you like to do in your spare time?

[it just dawns on him that he isn't sure what Red Wine likes to do leisurely, aside from spend some time with him. he feels bad that he hasn't asked this question before, but he supposes that now would be a great time to find out]

Mm... aside from you?

[He flashes a grin at Dohalim when he says that, knowing it will only take a moment for the crassness of the words to sink in. Red Wine laughs, tucks one hand behind his head and keeps the other curled around Dohalim's body.]

I read, sometimes I just explore... I play piano, so I do that when I get the chance. [The Food Soul shifts, making the position of his shoulders more comfortable against the bed.]

If there's work that needs doing, I'll do it. I've helped a few people fix their roof, things like that.

[the crass comment earns Red Wine a look from Dohalim, before he himself chuckles softly. Honestly, this man...

There's a small smile on his face as he lists off his hobbies; imagining Red Wine fixing roofs is an endearing image enough. But there's one particular hobby that piques his interest as he lifts his head up slightly with a look of curiosity on his face]

You play piano?

Mm, I do. You didn't think hands like this only knew how to use a blade, did you?

[He lifts one up into view. Pale, slim-fingered, entirely unblemished... it hardly looks like he has ever lifted a sword in his life. Though Dohalim has never seen him wielding a weapon he does know he was made for combat.]

I learned a few things at my first Master Attendant's request. Piano, violin, paper folding. I can sew, as well, and my cooking is passable, though usually too bland for most.

Ah, you play the violin as well?

[little does Red Wine probably know, he's speaking Dohalim's love language right now. Not only does he know how to play a musical instrument, but two, and one happens to be one that he's well versed in. There's an almost shine in his eyes as glances at Red Wine's hand, noting nimble fingers perfect for such instruments]

...Do you happen to have one here in Nippon?

Edited 2022-03-09 19:38 (UTC)

[Better not tell Dohalim he's also not too bad with a flute either, or he'll really lose his mind. Red Wine glances across at the man, studying him for a moment as he lets his hand fall lightly against his own stomach. He shakes his head a little then, humming a small 'mm-mm' behind closed lips.]

Good violins are expensive, and I don't have the money to spare.

[Though it would be nice to play again, he has other priorities.]

There's a piano, at a social centre in Higashiyama where they don't seem to mind my spending time.

Ah, yes... I would imagine so. Forgive my insensitivity.

[Dohalim has to kick himself for the comment; while not hard to come by in Lenegis (compared to anywhere in Dahna outside of Menancia), the more elite were able to afford more luxurious things more often than those lower on the social ladder.

His mind wanders for a moment, as well as his gaze, to his closet where his own violin (a sudden gift he'd found waiting for him as a new year's gift) is stashed. As much as he wants to start playing it again, he still doesn't have the heart to pick it up just yet, still feeling like he's not worthy to play it again.

However... he glances back at Red Wine]

...If I were to provide a violin, would you play me a piece?

[Red Wine is by no means struggling - he does keep himself well-dressed and has even given Dohalim a couple of fine gifts - but his love of the finer things does not extend to an instrument that he might barely use when there are other things he wants long before he considers a piano or violin.

A curious smile flickers across his expression and he shifts to look the other man in the eyes, his hand moving up off his stomach to brush back a few bright curls instead.]

I don't see why not. Are you going to tell me you have a violin just... laying around somewhere?

I wouldn't necessarily say it's "laying around," but I've yet to purchase a violin stand for it.

[he won't mention yet that every time he sees it, he's reminded of the friends he's lost... despite the fact that he had it displayed in his chambers in the palace. to be fair, he wasn't prepared to see his violin again; he'd even left it in Autelina Palace when he'd left Menancia. so for it to show up suddenly... it was a shock to the system, to say the least. and as much as he's glad to see it safe and sound, it still serves to remind him of what happened.

though, lately, he's been feeling nostalgic for it, but Dohalim can't place a finger on as to why.

sitting up, and pulling a sheet around him (more to keep himself warm rather than modesty; they're well past that at this point), Dohalim steps over to his closet, opening it and pulling out a leather bound violin case. as he rejoins Red Wine back in bed, he sits down, laying the case between them. he runs a hand against the smooth grain of the leather, fingers tracing along the stitching. there's a bit of hesitance before he unlatches the case and opens it; the white body of the violin is already unique enough, and is a beautiful contrast to the black neck and chin rest. but the golden embellishment gives it that extra something, truly making it a unique instrument]

This is my most prized possession.

[he pulls it out of the case carefully, inspecting it for a moment, before holding it out to Red Wine. he isn't even sure it's still tuned, but... he just isn't sure he can find it in himself to even hold it up in position, much less try to play it again]

[He watches, quietly appreciative of the shape of Dohalim's body beneath the sheets but restraining himself from making any comments about it. His gaze falls to the violin case, noting its quality even before it's opened, and the soft sound of appreciation he makes to the appearance of the instrument itself is clearly audible.

But just because something looks pretty does not necessarily mean it has any real finery about it. Still, he doesn't think Dohalim would settle for anything less than the best.

Before he takes it from Dohalim's hands he has the foresight to snag a corner of the sheets and pull it over his lap. Touching such a thing feels... strange to do while entirely nude. Then he smiles a little, receiving the case delicately into both hands and setting it in front of his knees. He lifts the instrument out with care, then the bow, and gives the other man a quick glance as if for permission before he sets the chinrest into position.

His fingers find the strings - fumbling, just for a moment, with unfamiliarity - then he brings up the bow and pulls it deftly, slowly across the strings. It produces a soft, shivering note, entirely in tune.]

You're sure you don't mind?

[Dohalim watches Red Wine as he lifts his violin up, giving him a permissive nod to continue. there's a sort of anticipation he can't help but feel, wanting to hear his violin's song ring in the air, like the many times all those years ago, when times were simpler, and he didn't have to worry about the loom of the Crown Contest, and those he'd have to contend with. all that mattered in those moments was the beautiful music he'd play with his dearest friends, only ever vaguely aware of those watching and listening to them play.

as the note is played, Dohalim's eyes slip closed for a moment, as if he could feel it play with the very fibre of his being. there's a small smile on his face as he opens his eyes, nodding again and gesturing for Red Wine to continue]

I don't mind in the slightest. Please, continue.

[Red Wine nods, adjusting his grip and settling the violin more firmly against his shoulder. He straightens his back and shoulders, pauses a moment in thought, then lays the bow to the strings again.

What comes out would be something entirely unfamiliar to Dohalim. A composition from Nevras, Red Wine's home country. It begins slowly, almost sparsely, as if it ought to be accompanied by something, but quickly comes into its own as Red Wine fills in some of the gaps himself. His fingers move smoothly over the strings, his eyes half-closed in concentration, and he can't help but admire the sheer quality of the instrument.

Far beyond its unique and elegant appearance the notes it produces are so crisp.

He only plays for a minute, then lets the last note fade. His wine-red eyes are curious again as he looks over at his companion.]

It's a lovely instrument.

[Dohalim's smile widens slightly as he listens to Red Wine play, his attention on watching his skilled fingers dance along the frets of polished black wood and strings. he'd forgotten how easy it was for everything else to melt away when it came to playing and listening to music; he'd become so immersed in it that it takes him a moment to realise that Red Wine had finished his piece.

if Dohalim were honest with himself, it's almost enough to inspire him to play again. almost. he's still not sure if he could play it again.

he doesn't say anything for a moment, but instead leans in to press a gentle kiss to Red Wine's lips. only when he pulls back does he speak again]

Thank you. Both for the compliment and for breathing life into it again. I think it was yearning to be played again.

[He does feel a little rusty with it, in all honesty, but Dohalim seems pleased regardless. Red Wine smiles against the kiss and leans towards it, then places the violin back into its case with as much care that he had lifted it out with.]

I haven't had much need to play since she passed. [By now, the 'she' that he refers to is no doubt obvious. He always speaks of his first Master Attendant with the utmost fondness despite what he has told Dohalim about the origins of his kind.]

But since it's you, I suppose I can play for you any time you'd like me to. [His head tilts thoughtfully.] Though perhaps more suitably dressed, next time.

It seems she had good taste.

[Dohalim gives Red Wine a fond smile before looking back down at his violin. feeling the instrument under his fingers was so familiar to him, as if he hadn't kept it locked away for years. it almost seems like yesterday that he'd picked it up, feeling the bow glide effortlessly against the violin strings, hearing the notes flow freely]

I would love for you to play more for me, if you don't mind. It deserves to be played more, and I'm not sure I have the heart to play it again.

[He shakes his head and the smile on his face does, for once, hold a hint of modesty.]

I wouldn't mind.

[Hell, he might even do so eagerly, though it's really only because Dohalim is asking. His softer talents are reserved only for those close to him - those who earn high enough regard in his eyes to be allowed to see him as more than just a sword.]

And one day, perhaps, you might play it for me.

Ah...

[Dohalim's smile fades ever so slightly as he keeps his eyes trained down at the instrument. he had a feeling that Red Wine would ask it of him, especially when he so graciously played a piece for him. but even just touching the violin makes him nervous; what if his own feelings, anxieties and past get in the way to the point where he can't play it anymore? or what if he'd put off playing for so long that he isn't nearly as good as he used to be? he doesn't want to give Red Wine a subpar performance after all... perhaps he's making excuses at this point.

but even then, those thoughts weigh on his mind. but then again, what else is new?]

I... Am afraid that may not be for a while. I would like to, but...

[he lets out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. he looks back up at the man, the smile back on his face to hide what he's really feeling]

It's been a while since I've picked it up. I'd like to be able to play a piece perfectly for you.

[Dohalim doesn't need to explain. Red Wine connects the dots easily enough and he reaches out his hand, taking the other man's fingers lightly in his own. With his eyes trained on Dohalim's face he lowers both of their hands together to the body of the violin and touches it lightly.

The smile hides everything, but it tells Red Wine more than Dohalim might want it to. He knows the man too well by now to be so easily fooled.]

It's all right. [He won't push him to play, not for him or otherwise, but there are baby steps that can be taken regardless...] Whenever you're ready, hm..? One day we might be able to play together.

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