May | Event: Flowers of Buffoonery

[jikan_mod]

Flowers of Buffoonery↲ OOC Plotting

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The month of love is in full swing! But there are some who are probably wondering: why is May the month of love, and why only in the West? Over in Tokyo, no such celebrations are being made, and even the Hanyo of Shitaya aren't gunning up for any major festivals of any sort, despite most of them having come from the West. But it's not because it's a new holiday. Rather, it's simply a Yokai specific one.

Because traditionally, May is the period where a Yokai's sex drive is the strongest. And while for most, this simply manifests as a desire for deep, emotional connections, for others, it's a month-long orgyfest.

And as the mysterious little flowers continue to bloom across Kyoto, something else begins to bloom between the refugees themselves.

The Season of Sex

Towards the middle of the month, refugees are sure to notice a change in the way the Yokai are behaving, particularly the group known as the "beast Yokai", which includes Kitsune, Bakeneko, and Inu Yokai. As it turns out, these three are among some of the only Yokai who still occasionally undergo a heat-like event, with most of these falling around the month of May.

But what does this have to do with the refugees? As many of them will quickly find out: they also will experience a heat-like state through the rest of the month. Upon contacting the scientists, they explain that because the Yokai were the indigenous people of Nippon, bonding with Nippon seems to have caused the refugees to become part Yokai in a way that differs from the native Hanyo. This is why they're able to use magic, and why many of them grow Yokai body parts when experiencing high levels of Kizuna.

"Oh, don't worry your pretty little heads! Sure, you lot seem to be more afflicted than us Native Yokai, but no one's going to judge you for your... biological needs, teehee!"

As the Yokai researchers explain, heats have become less common in the modern era, so it's entirely possible that some refugees won't experience anything at all. Feel free to use this to opt out of anything that makes you uncomfortable!

You All Know What This Event Is About Maryouku University, Kyoto
When a Yokai goes into heat, they tend to adopt one of three characteristics, known collectively as KSJ. Although most Yokai will always lean more heavily towards one in particular, some may experience all three throughout their heat:

Daikoh (大攻) causes Yokai to develop unusually dominant and possessive tendencies. While some may search for a single partner to keep to themself, others may try to gather as many partners as possible. Even passive and friendly Yokai may become inclined towards violence or unusual roughness, including marking their partners. Some may experience an inexplicable desire for passionate romance, while others may feel a desire to breed.

Daishoku (大食) causes Yokai to give off a magic aura that may trigger a heat in those around them. These Yokai are insatiable, seeking endless pleasure from anything and everything they can find, be it food, entertainment, or sex. It's not uncommon for them to have one thing in particular they become fixated on, though others may simply desire everything. They may even find it hard to sleep without some kind of stimulation to calm them down.

Daijuu (大受) causes Yokai to develop unusually submissive and needy tendencies. They crave physical affection to such a powerful degree that going without it may even become painful. It's not uncommon for these Yokai to only feel comfortable when wrapped up in a nest of blankets to simulate being wrapped in the arms of a lover. They may feel a strong desire to be cared for by another, or even impregnated by a mate, regardless of gender.

Obviously any of these would be pretty inconvenient, but perhaps the worst part is they can strike at any time. One might simply wake up in heat, while another may find themselves suddenly overwhelmed upon seeing a familiar face. And the truly unfortunate may find it happening in public, or even on a long train ride.

While most heats tend to be very mild, often to the point where one might not even realize they're going through one, some Yokai have the misfortune of going through an extreme heat, where the effects of KSJ becomes far more pronounced, even to the point of appearing to have a complete personality shift. Daishoku Yokai may fuck until they pass out, Daikoh Yokai may peruse individuals they would never otherwise be interested in, and Daijuu Yokai have been known to crawl into the beds of strangers to satisfy their need to be held. Heats can be as brief as a few hours, or as long as a few weeks, with varying levels of severity throughout. While most only occur once a year, you're free to utilize heats as a Severe Kizuna Effect at any time!

Discount Dildo Emporium Gion, Kyoto
Just in time for the month of love, a new shop has opened up in downtown Kyoto. The elderly owner of Iyarashii Ryuu, an infamous dildo shop in Tokyo's Shinjuku, has partnered up with an equally amorous young Kitsune to open up a sister store in Gion. And if the large painting on the wall is anything to go by, their relationship probably goes beyond business partners... that's one feisty old lady.

Iyarashii Ryuu specializes in every shape, size, and function of dildo one can imagine, but unlike the Tokyo branch, the Gion branch of Iyarashii Ryuu specializes in enchanted dildos. These dildos are capable of moving on their own, growing in size, changing in shape, and even glowing in the dark! Because why not.

However, these are still a very new product, so they're depending on customer feedback to improve the spells! As such, anyone willing to test out a prototype enchanted dildo will both be allowed to keep the prototype, as well as select from any finished dildos in the shop free of charge.

Of course, some may not realize what they're getting into when they agree to test a prototype. One is designed to change size on command, but contains a bug that may cause it to grow larger than intended, and even develop a distinct knot. Another is designed to allow the one wearing it as a strap on to feel sensations as if it were real, but has a bug that instead causes both partners to feel both sensations, resulting in an extreme case of over-stimulation. Another is designed to move independently like a fucking machine, but seems to lack a means of turning it off. And another glows in the dark so brightly that it can be seen from the outside. Which isn't necessarily a bug, but it sure is something worth seeing.

And hey, for all you natural-dildo-havers, they're also testing a line of condoms designed to do the same things, with the added security of safe sex practices. Very sexy! Just watch out for that size-changing one, though. Some have reported feelings of insecurity upon watching their dangle return to its smaller size.

Fickle Flower Petals

In the midst of everything happening this month, refugees will begin to hear rumors of strange symptoms popping up around Kyoto. Flowers growing out of people's hair, sprouting from the ground with every step they take, or even tumbling out of their mouth. It's only then that the people realize what's happened: those little flowers from before weren't entirely harmless. They're sprouts from a Hanahaki, a very rare ayakashi that possesses flowers, named for the curse it inflicts on those who inhale their pollen.

Thankfully, Hanahaki is treatable, and can even be cured without the need of a specialist. But until the sprouts wilt, those living in Kyoto will simply have to bear with the symptoms.

Post Secret Kyoto, Western Kingdom
In its mild form, Hanahaki causes flowers to grow from a person's hair. These flowers range in size and species, and can grow over the course of mere minutes or many days. Those affected will be encouraged to allow the flowers to wilt naturally, as plucking them may cause permanent bald patches.

While this form can seemingly effect anyone, those hiding secret feelings of love or desire may instead develop a form that causes flowers to bloom on every surface around them. Although certainly the most charming, it's also the most conspicuous, with tiny gardens building up around them whenever they stay in one place for too long.

The true extent of the curse will become obvious to anyone riding the trains, as the entire inside of each car has become blanketed in thick green foliage and flowers. Some may discover that the flowers can even sprout on the other side of walls, potentially filling their neighbor's apartment with unwanted greenery. And let's not even get into the personality types that cause a nuruname to bloom. Best stay away from those folks!

So what's the solution? Well, seeing as not everyone is open to the idea of sharing their thoughts and feelings openly, a workaround has been discovered. All around Tokyo, refugees will find small wooden plaques known as ema hanging in populated places. Those affected by the Hanahaki are encouraged to write anonymous confessions on the ema and hang them up where they can be seen. After enough people have seen their confession, the effects of the Hanahaki will begin to go away.

Just make sure you're not seen hanging a confession up, or it'll defeat the purpose of it being anonymous!

To submit play-made secrets for characters to see in Kyoto, please see this post!

Tell No Lies Kyoto, Western Kingdom | cw: This prompt contains Hanahaki-adjacent body horror.
With most cases manifesting as mild, some may be wondering why the curse is referred to as Hanahaki, meaning to spit flowers. In truth, the name is derived from the severe form of the curse: in which flowers begin growing internally.

The most common location is the throat, causing those affected to cough or hiccup flower petals throughout the day. But for those who are especially unlucky, they may grow down into the lungs, causing severe pain, a bloody cough, and trouble breathing. Due to the likelihood of choking in one's sleep, this form is considered the most dangerous.

This form of the curse manifests in those prone to frequently keeping secrets or telling lies, be it intentionally or as a result of being a rather private person. Much like the mild form, it can be treated naturally through open communication. However, the workaround used for the mild form will not work here. Only by opening up about themselves or the secrets they've been keeping will the flowers begin to wilt.

For those who are still opposed to the idea, a healer can forcefully remove the flowers with a spell. However, this method carries a 25% chance of losing whatever memories are tied to those secrets, ranging from the secrets themselves, to all memories of the people they wish to keep in the dark. Surely such a risk isn't worth it, right?

Party Time

Although the Emperor of the West has grown busy these last couple of months, far be it for him to forget his beloved Refugees during the month of love! And so, on the 25th, all refugees will be extended an invitation to an exclusive party in the Uji district of Kyoto.

Those who assisted in clearing it out earlier will be shocked to see the transformation the building has taken in just a few days, as bright and colorful décor can be found on every corner, and the scent of incense hanging in the air.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it would be most rude to refuse an invitation from the Emperor himself, wouldn't it?

With a Bang! Uji, Kyoto
Taking place at one of his many private villas, refugees will be met with an extravagant affair, filled with Humans and Yokai alike. During the day, there's no shortage of musical entertainment and dancing, along with free food and drinks, and a large outdoor garden to relax in. But at night, the mood of the party shifts dramatically. After a full day of pheromones tickling their senses, and no shortage of uki to go around, it was time for the main event: an orgy to celebrate the season of love.

"Greetings and salutations, my dearest friends from another world! I am Katsuragi no Mikoto, emperor of the Western Kingdom, and on this day, I invite you all to enjoy the many pleasures our world has to offer! Please, those who are inclined, make merry! And rest assured, this is a safe place to indulge."

The main room of the villa itself is designed with an array of sliding doors that can become walls to quickly close off corners for an illusion of privacy, as well as private and secret rooms for those who desire it. In the upper floors, rooms filled with all sorts of enchanted toys and costumes can be found, in addition to a small outdoor bathing area. And in the basement, there's what can only be called a sex dungeon, filled with all sorts of restraints and gear for whatever one's heart desires.

Any guests who stick around for the orgy will be asked to select from a number of colorful kanzashi they'll pin into their hair to convey what they're looking for:

Pink: Platonic, non-sexual physical affection only.
Red: Bondage, restraints, and sadomasochism.
Yellow: Open to kink negotiation or discussion.
Orange: Toys, magic or supernatural powers during sex, transformations.
Green: Costumes and sexual role play.
Blue: Powerplay: light blue for submissive, dark blue for dominant.
Purple: Public use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism.
Gold: Open to anything and everything.
Silver: No physical contact, watching only.

Outside of the Purple and Gold ribbons, all kanzashi are imbued with a spell that will sound a loud alarm if they person wearing it is touched in a manner they didn't consent to, upon which the one who activated it may find themselves thrown into the cold waters of the pond in the garden out front. Refugees are free to take as few or as many kanzashi as they desire, or swap them out as the evening grows long.

Denouement Engagement Uji, Kyoto
The party lasts well into the next morning, with guests welcome to stay the night with whoever they happened to bond with the night before. A nearby bath house is open exclusively for party guests, which is for the best, given the nature of the festivities. There will be no walks of shame coming from the Emperor's villa!

But those who actually manage to stick around this long will have an opportunity to witness a rare event.

In the garden just outside the villa, Katsuragi can be found seated next to a young man who some will recognize as Karu, the emperor of the East. The former is once more clean and dressed in his finest regalia, while the Eastern emperor appears in more subdued colors, a parasol in hand in some attempt to hide himself. Perhaps most would be giving them some space, but those who sneak closer will be able to overhear their conversation. Katsuragi speaks of uniting the two kingdoms, and supporting Karu as the face of the Emperor, so he may focus on his "continuing recovery". For his part, Karu is almost completely silent, though it doesn't seem to impede on their conversation.

But one doesn't need to be eavesdropping to realize what's happening when Katsuragi gets down on one knee and gently takes Karu's hand into his own, prompting the latter to drop the parasol in shock.

What happens next, unfortunately, is just between the two of them. A snap of his fingers, and both Katsuragi and Karu vanish in the blink of an eye. Did he notice they was being watched? Or was he intentionally letting them see that much?

OOC Notes
Welcome to Jikan's May event! Please direct any questions to the Question Thread in the OOC Plotting post.

• As with all Kizuna effects, you are free to opt out of any of the KSJ effects as well, or simply utilize the ones you are interested in. A Daijuu yokai could simply desire being held, with no sexual or breeding-related connotations, for example. Likewise, as this is inspired A/B/O tropes, you are welcome to use Kizuna as an excuse to utilize any additional tropes not included in KSJ.

• Feel free to mix the effects of the prototype enchanted dildos to include multiple effects at once, or create your own magical effects! With magic, the only limit is your imagination!

• Although not necessary, Japanese does have it's own language of flowers if you would like the flowers your character sprouts/spits up to have greater symbolism. A wider list of plant symbolism can also be found here!

• Hanahaki can produce native plants to Nippon, but cannot produce plant-like Ayakashi. So they can grow Uki in their hair, but cannot cough out a Higanbana.

• In case you missed it, the post for submitting IC secrets is over here!

• Players are welcome to handwave their character sleeping with the Western Emperor himself at the orgy, but don't expect him to remember their name the next day. The Eastern Emperor will not be present until the next day.

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Comments

u kno

[fairlyheroic]

[the thing is, Zack isn't someone who really lies or keeps secrets. Most of the time if he tries he's terrible at it; he's the type of man who wears his heart on his sleeve, emotions out in the open and easily read. He's honest, sometimes too honest, so then . . . why would he still have a few flowers sprouting out of his hair?

Because lying by omission is still lying. And holding on to certain truths because you don't want to hurt anyone is still keeping secrets.

But it's only a couple of flowers, right? He can manage that, and he practically forgets about them until he spots Cloud on the side of the road, looking at one of those boards. He's barely taken a few steps before he feels them, white tulips shifting to make room for a few more. He pauses for a moment, then sighs to himself and shakes his head and he crosses the road. Of course that would happen now. He should've realized.

He hasn't forgotten that people are going through things this month, however, and while he's not affected, he knows a lot of other people probably are. So instead of a hair ruffle, as Zack steps up next to Cloud he carefully touches one of the lilies instead]

These are pretty.

o i no

[sultanofsquat]

[ As for Cloud... There's a lot that the acerbic swordsman was still lost and confused over. Living in the present, however, has done a good enough job of waning some of those feelings. But they don't fool the flowers. Not the various colors that bloom through his spiky strands of hair. The more severe effects he'd been warned about, however? For harboring even deeper secrets? He told himself that they weren't secrets if someone didn't ask. That what happened in Nibelheim wasn't so much a secret, as much as it was nobody's business. Nobody else's burden but his and Tifa's to carry now. There would come a time that he shared what happened to Sephiroth, five years ago, with the others. But caught in Nippon? That was going to have to wait.

So many things had to wait... Fortunately for Zack, Cloud's influx between the Daikoh and Daishoku Yokai waves was actually rather settled now. But it really could come back in full force at a moment's notice... Something else that's left him on edge. It's left him, admittedly afraid, to go find his friends. Or more specifically, the only two people he was still comfortable with actively wanting to seek out. Aerith? And the taller SOLDIER that approaches him, carefully brushing one of the lilies adorning his head. ]

Oh- [ His eyes widen, the sterner cold expression he tends to wear gone, replaced by a more familiar, innocent gaze. His cheeks glow a faint red, more out of embarrassment than anything as he manages to look up at him. ] Just don't go plucking any out. Learned that the hard way with a little patch on the back.

[ He...really wouldn't tell anyone else this, he thinks. Besides, it's not so noticeable with how messy much volume his hair has. Then he notices them... sprouting throughout his dark locks. ]

You too, huh?

[fairlyheroic]

[while he would say the more serious, stern expressions he's seen Cloud wear suit him, the innocent, open looks are much more familiar, a welcome if bittersweet reminder of everything before their lives changed. He half expects the PHS in his pocket to go off at any minute with an alert that he has a new mission, a location and a briefing with a short list of who's going with him, the young infantryman he'd made friends with in Modeoheim included. He keeps forgetting to leave the darn thing at home, it isn't like he can use it here besides looking through all the things he saved.

With a chuckle he drops his hand and, in an effort to keep his hands to himself, shoves them in his pockets for now. It won't last, but he's trying] I won't, I won't. I know better than to mess with any flowers.

[he resists the urge to touch his own flowers, even if he already knew not to go pulling them out. He inclines his head with a grin instead, a little sheepish and a little guilty, if you squinted]

What do you think? They're kind of growing on me.

[. . .

He snickers, because he's 100% the kind of dork to laugh at his own jokes] It's still just the white ones, right?

[sultanofsquat]

[ Cloud almost prepares himself for that oddly familiar ruffle. In his head, he still can't place where Zack is supposed to be. He only remembers that he's...there. That he welcomed this even if he played it up and told him to cut it out. Reno, Rude, Rufus, Genesis...especially Sephiroth? He still hasn't kept too much contact with them, if any. It's a difficult thing to trust, despite everything about this world that's thrown him for a loop. Only a couple people here had his trust...not counting the couple others from different worlds he's met over the past few weeks.

One was standing right in front of him. His comment on messing with flowers actually gets an amused little huff from the blond, a hand going to his hip. ] If that's not déjà vu...

[ Than Cloud doesn't know what is. But...dude. He has to squint. But it's at the line you just delivered. It hits him after a couple seconds of processing. ]

You're killing me, Zack.

[ As for his question? Well, he'll let his own wandering thoughts remain there for a little longer, setting the empty ema plaque back on the board before he steps up to his friend. Call it a distorted bond, but...it feels natural to do, as a gloved hand lifts up to gently brush over one of the white flower adorning the spot beside his one long bang. ]

Looks like it. Really stands out with hair as dark as yours.

[ But he won't pull, only gauging his reaction out of curiosity as he brushes the back of his fingers over the petals. ]

Guess everyone's got secrets.

[fairlyheroic]

[it's weird for both of them - though Zack can't even imagine how strange it is for Cloud, what with what's going on with him. Zack has figured being friendly with all of them and keeping some basic surface-level trust is fine enough for now, and if it came down to actually figuring it out - he has Aerith and Cloud, and the rest he'll think more about when the time comes. Two people he's absolutely certain of is better than none.

The snicker turns into a laugh, brief but genuinely amused. That's another look he's familiar with] C'mon, not even a little smile? I couldn't resist!

[He's not expecting Cloud to touch his own flowers, though. He stands still at first, still smiling but eyebrows raised in surprise. But then he leans over, slouching just a little more so Cloud doesn't have to reach up as much. Like it's habit, to make himself a bit smaller around the people who don't tower like he does. An easy habit to slip right back into.

He wouldn't be surprised if his flowers had some meaning, but then again, he's not sure he wants to know, either. Because as always lately, it won't bother him as much as it will everyone else. He gives a little huff of a laugh along with a careful shrug]

Just a couple. Sometimes it can't be helped, you know?

[sultanofsquat]

[ He lets out a soft, amused snort through his nose, the hum in his throat brief. Though he won't inspect Zack's predicament for too long, his gloved hand drawing down as he takes a step back to have a better look at him. He's heard of what can happen with these...if things were deep-seated enough. But he didn't really anticipate it happening to Zack— no. That wasn't quite correct. It was more that he didn't want to think about it. Even when they first met, his thoughts were muddled. Just stable enough to not collapse under the pressure.

But he still didn't tell him. Tell him that when he went to bed at night, he'd be rocked by throbbing headaches. Words he didn't think were real. His voice in predicaments he thought were just illusions from all the trauma he went through. The trauma he thought he went through. That didn't count the ones he'd unwittingly blocked out to survive. ]

Promise not to peek if you need a minute.

[ Because, well, Cloud...wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say. Or was willing to say. His gaze flickers to the board once more. To the plaque he'd put up empty to check out the flowers in his friend's hair. ]

...

I...don't know what to say.

[fairlyheroic]

[the problem for Zack isn't knowing what to say - he knows what his secrets are, more or less, and for most of them, he doesn't mind talking about them or writing them up to post on the board. If anything, he'd do it less for him and more so maybe Cloud felt more comfortable doing it, too.

The problem comes down to the secrets themselves. And how they aren't just his secrets but Cloud's as well, even if he doesn't remember them yet.

Zack picks up one of the plaques, turning it over in his hand]

I don't mind if you see it.

[he makes a considering noise before picking up one of the pens to start writing] Maybe start with something small? With a secret that's not as big as the other ones you might have.

[the one written on his plaque isn't small, but none of his really are. But it's one he can be a little vague with, too.

"Sometimes I can't sleep at night because I'm afraid of where I'll wake up."]

[sultanofsquat]

[ His answer surprises him, piquing his curiosity as he follows Zack as he writes on his plaque. The secret? Well...on the surface, he shouldn't know what it meant. It felt more like a blanket statement than anything else. But he studies the secret all the same. Even mouthing it silently on his lips. Trying to come up with a reason why without doing the obvious thing and just asking him. ]

Makes sense... I'm a light sleeper myself. Never knew where we'd get deployed next, right?

[ It makes sense in his head. But...somehow when he says it out loud, there's a piece of him that's telling him he's wrong. But hey! Zack got one up on the board! Now, as for Cloud... ]

.....

[ He sighs and shakes his head, petals swaying with his hair as he walks up to an empty plaque.

He looks over his shoulder, back at his friend. ] You're not allowed to laugh.

[ How serious he was, who was to say. But he's also not going to hide his first secret either. Fair is fair, right? Cloud hesitates again, cheeks dusting a soft shade of red as one of the lilies adorning his head blooms further. As far as secrets went? About his past? They're all clear to him, his mind even fooling the hanahaki syndrome that's gotten to a good chunk of the refugees. In his head, he was still Cloud, former SOLDIER, 1st Class. The only sense of doubt? Was that he still didn't know where he got the Buster Sword from.

Did he get it from Angeal? No... But then— ]

.....

[ "I wore a dress" ]

?!

[ Oh. ... that...wasn't supposed to be the secret he put up. Cloud was ready to admit that he couldn't really sleep lately because all he could think about were girls. And here? Amidst the waves of Daishoku heat he went through? That was vague. But instead, his thoughts were lost in his own static-filled memories, blacking out as he wrote his secret.

...

What else can be said besides ]

Shit.

[fairlyheroic]

[he's getting really good at keeping his expression even. Zack tilts his head as he glances over at Cloud, and while the hum he gives is agreeing, there's something else there, too. Considering, almost]

That's true, but if that's all it was it wouldn't be a secret, you know? [he reaches out to tap the plaque a couple of times with a finger] It's a little more specific than that. Places I don't think I want to see again.

[he's not going to say what those places are unless Cloud asks, but even then . . . that's getting into things they're not talking about, much more than even Zack is comfortable with.

. . . but of course, Cloud's secret distracts him from all of that.

It's definitely a good thing he already knew, or else he would laugh and Cloud would not be happy with him. But even then his lips still twitch, and he lifts a fist to his mouth to clear his throat and cover up any potential grins that might fight their way through]

Someone might've told me all about it already. [there's only one person he could have heard that from] It was for a good reason, right?

[. . .

Okay, he has to tease a little]

I heard you were very pretty.

[sultanofsquat]

I guess not... [ He shakes his head. ] Guess that's just wishful thinking.

[ He wants to ask. He can hear something crack in the further corner of his mind when even humoring asking him. But the part of him that was sound hesitates still... Still uncertain of the unknown. Still forcing himself to accept the history he's carved for himself- the future that intends to stake with his own two hands. In order to move on from the past, he needed to eliminate the last thing in his life tormenting him over it.

. . .

But not here. Not yet. Much as it keeps him up at night (among other things in this place), Cloud remembers Aerith's smile when she thinks of how that man was to her. How he used to be. ]

I heard that.

[ AND HE CAN SEE THAT, BUSTER. EVEN WITH YOUR HAND COVERING YOUR MOUTH. But at least he wasn't just busting his gut... As for the reason he knew? Cloud can't help but sigh, hands on his hips. If he's exasperated over it, it comes out in the dryest, actually not-pissed way possible, muttering as his cheeks turn redder. ]

'Course she did...

[ As for the tease? If the cat's out of the bag now, and if it's kept between them... Yeah. He ain't doing that again, he tells himself. But as he finds the courage to look Zack in the eye again, he almost smirks. Almost. ]

Good enough to fool the cronies in Wall Market.

[fairlyheroic]

There's nothing wrong with a little wishful thinking.

[he wishes that the places that come to mind weren't ruined by bad memories; Nibelheim, Banora, the snowy mountains of Modeheim and Icicle Inn - all of them had been places he'd wanted to see, but not for the reasons he saw them. It isn't that he doesn't have good memories - how could he not, when he met Cloud in one of those places? - but each one was overshadowed by death.

Reminders that, for all that he took pride in being a SOLDIER, that it came with a heavy price, too.

But he'd much rather focus on Cloud instead, and it's incredibly easy and familiar to push everything else to do the side to do so. He can worry about the flowers and secrets in a few minutes]

I'm not laughing, I swear!

[he drops his hand but oh, is he grinning. Like he told Aerith he can't picture it at all, but that's also for the best, or he might end up laughing. Still, Cloud doesn't seem too upset about it and so, he doesn't bother trying to hide how amused he is.

BUT HE SEES THAT ALMOST SMIRK and it almost gets him in trouble, but no, he said he wouldn't laugh and he meant it!]

That good? Geez. Aerith said you beat out her and Tifa, too - you must've made a really cute girl. [okay, okay, he's done teasing. He shakes his head to himself] I wish I could've seen it.

[sultanofsquat]

[ Zack might as well have. If it were anyone else? Cloud would have shut that conversation down straightaway. Still, he's over it. ...somewhat. So long as it stays a secret and that plaque isn't associated back to him. He's sure there's plenty of folk who dress up like women. ...right? Yes, Cloud. sdkjfh ]

Uh...

[ Getting called a cute girl really shouldn't have made him blush as hard as it did. And while he doesn't direct it at Zack? The kuudere comes out. Now his arms are crossed and he's looking away as some petals begin to fall from his head. It seems that slowly but surely, it's working for one of Cloud's secrets!

Beating out Aerith and Tifa... Hmph. ]

More like they've got shit taste.

[ Corneo and his men, that is. Who'd want some cold and harsh lady? Don't swap Cloud and Lightning. The result stays the same. KFJHDSA He wasn't gonna gloss over how he had to do a double take when he saw Aerith and Tifa in their respective dresses. How he beat them out was anyone's guess, in his eyes... ]

Doesn't matter who got picked. I was springing Tifa outta there.

[ And subsequently getting dropped in a sewer but. Details. adskfjhl When Zack teases that he wishes he could have seen it, Cloud lets out another huff.

Before that "almost" smirk? Finally comes around as he turns back to Zack, hand on his hip. ]

Shame it was a one-time gig*.

— — —

( EDITOR'S NOTE: *Note to self. Put him up to being a geisha girl. )

[fairlyheroic]

[he sees the petals falling and the grin on his face softens into more of a smile. Even if this is all they end up talking about, Zack is glad he can still get Cloud to open up a little. It's different now - they're not teenagers anymore, and while he's seen flashes of it, Cloud isn't the shy but eager country boy he met on a snowy mountain anymore.

Still, this much he's glad for. Zack won't take it for granted]

Even if blonds have a certain appeal - [Zack weren't you DONE teasing??] - I gotta agree, Aerith and Tifa are way cuter. I'm glad it all worked out.

[it's a roundabout way of saying he knows Tifa, but honestly it's the kind of clue Zack would drop, big dumb flirt that he is.

He huffs out a sound that is definitely laugh-like, but the topic is winding down and he made it this far. His tone takes on a suspiciously innocent tone as he reaches for another plaque] Don't say it's a one time thing too loud, you might be jinxing yourself.

[but . . . the secret he shared barely had an effect on the flowers in his hair, which meant - he had to share something a little more serious. He taps the marker against the wood thoughtfully before he writes:

"I still feel like we're on the run."

As soon as he hangs it up, almost an entire blooms-worth of petals fall from the flowers in his hair. He makes a little heh sound as he catches a couple of them in his palm]

[sultanofsquat]

Zack... [ Pushing his luck a little there. Again. Not seriously. But, when it came to his follow-up, ] Agreed.

[ ... wait did Cloud just nonchalantly agree, verbally, about Aerith and Tifa's appearance? Yes, yes he did. He's just not making a big fuss over it. Or frankly, thinking about it. Too much has happened in the span of almost two months since arriving here that as long as he doesn't draw attention to it? He's becoming a little looser with his tongue. Besides, it's the end result that matters. He's right. He'd let his guard down around Zack so much that he hadn't even registered the name Tifa in correlation. He didn't remember him being there in Nibelheim, so...he must have met her some time in Midgar in the five years leading from the disaster.

That's as simple as it is to him. The most stable resolution before he can carry on. But then...the atmosphere takes a shift. Ever so slowly as he studies his friend as he approaches the ema board. ]

.....

[ This time, it doesn't hurt. But he can still feel the throbbing sensation in his brain. Beats of his heart that play various distorted pictures through his mind. In truth? While he was conscious for most of it...it's about as clear as they'll ever get. After all, Cloud wasn't really all there for that long journey, was he? But it wasn't until that whole bloom fell from one of the flowers that the blond's breath catches in his throat. It's near silent, as he takes another step towards the message. His fingers trace over the letters, as if trying to decipher their meaning... ]

Zack...

[ It's just the two of them now. And there may be more secrets to shed so that these blossoms would wane. But these words weren't for a board. Not yet. With his palm resting gently over the plaque Zack placed up, he gathers his nerves and steels himself. ]

There's something that I've been... [ Breath. It's gonna be okay, Cloud. The glass doesn't shatter beneath his feet yet. ] ...that I wanna tell you.

[fairlyheroic]

[he doesn't say anything, just smiles wider at the agreement. He knows when he's reached his limit with teasing, although there's very few people he'd actually stop for, Cloud being one of them. Making his friend angry at him is the last thing he wants.

He remains quiet, though, as Cloud approaches the tablet. Watches him touch the letters, and while it's too late to take it back, he wonders if maybe it's too much. Maybe he shouldn't have made it plural, or maybe he could have worded it in a way that stayed out of the bounds of things they weren't talking about.

Which he's realizing is impossible as they stand there, because if Zack wants the flowers gone - and he does, as much as they don't bother him - he'll have to talk about it, even it's just vague and little bits of the bigger picture. He can't help but think it's a little unfair, like they're both being put on the spot because of this hanahaki nonsense.

But a small part of him does want talk about it. Because he hates keeping secrets, and there's only one person who would really understand and -

He lets the petals fall from his hand and crosses his arms, straightening out of his usual slouch. And takes a quiet, deep breath]

What's that? [light and casual and gently encouraging]

[sultanofsquat]

[ As dangerous as this all felt for Cloud...this was just as much for his friend too, wasn't it. The only reason it hadn't gotten worse for the blond was because of his own screwed up head... He didn't know what was real or not to keep secret. He kept making up and accepting what best kept him going in the present moment. But rather than run away from the contradiction, having had plenty of time to think about it alone...

Cloud wasn't sure about Zack, but...can't really hide from it any longer. He's seen and felt things that...he didn't know he was supposed to. He didn't know if he was still going to see those things happen, now that they've all been released from the shackles of fate. What lied ahead for Reno and the others...may not even happen anymore. That was the consequences of their actions. What was the old saying? "The more things change, the more they stay the same"? ]

When I made it to Midgar... [ Just you, Cloud? ] I kept seeing things... Chalked it all up to being tired after a long trip. Just the exposure to Mako messing with my head. But...

[ He closes his fist, reluctant to turn around and face him, so he only manages halfway, the man in his peripheral. This...is the most he's ever opened up to anyone about his past. He played it cool with the Turks, kept tabs on Aerith, and tried embracing new things around new faces like Ayaka and others. All because it's what he wanted everyone to see. But repeating the two messages that Zack places up over and over in his mind, how his eyes went wet upon reuniting with him at the great sakura tree without really knowing why... ]

Ever since I got here... [ Heat waves come and go. But he can only distract himself for so long before the silence opened the way to old pain. Pain he didn't understand. Pain that when he tried to understand it...he blocked it out against his will. What was he so afraid of by looking deeper? ] I can't sleep. Every time I think about you, it——



!

[ It hurts. Every time, it hurts and his brain shuts off- reroutes him to thinking of something else. Like what he plans to do next month when he goes to rehearsal with Ayaka. Like checking into renting a little place in Kyoto for every time he travels between cities. Everyday living. Everything that wasn't him trying to live his life as an Ex-SOLDIER turned mercenary. The throbbing wanes again as he lowers his hand, finally looking up at Zack properly.

He lied. He can't place him after all. He can remember some things, but. Where did Zack go? When did he go? ]

I can't remember where I got this.

[ The Buster Sword. ]

The day that I became SOLDIER...

[ He searches his friend's own mako-infused eyes, even if he was looking for answers his mind may not have been prepared for. Even still...he didn't have a madman digging through his head to break him. It's all him. It's all up to him now. ]

[ (When did I become SOLDIER?) ]

[fairlyheroic]

[this is a giant step into the boundary line they'd set when Cloud arrived. Zack had been toying that line with his own confessions, but this is . . . it's not just a step, it's a jump. Answering any of that, about when he got the Buster Sword or the whole thing with SOLDIER, they're not simple answers. One is a secret that Zack shares with him; the other . . .

On my behalf . . .

It hurts to watch. To listen. To know that no matter what he says or doesn't say, it's going to make it worse. There's no way to be vague or soften the blow. And not answering at all, for as much as that's what he'd like to do, he knows he can't. All it does is put it off.

His arms drop so he can put his hands on his hips, head ducking a little. Any other time he'd start pacing, back and forth to work off the nervous energy and to think, but he doesn't this time. Zack doesn't want to send the wrong message, complicate any of this further just because of his inability to sit still.

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

The patient smile remains as always, but there's something else to it now. Something bittersweet]

I'm causing you a lot of trouble, huh. [it sounds faintly apologetic, even if he knows that it's not something that can be helped. Neither of them chose to come here, after all.

But he hesitates. The last thing he wants to do is cause Cloud any more pain, even if it sounds like he's asking. And Zack is the only one with those answers, but he has to make sure, first, that Cloud wants to know. That this is the conversation they've been putting off.

He turns to pick up another tablet, then meets Cloud's bright blue eyes with his own. Tablet in hand, he finally gives in to one urge and reaches over to ruffle Cloud's hair, the same place he'd been holding before. His hand stays there, gaze unwavering. The persistent smile on his face wanes into something a little more serious.

He inclines his head to the ema board]

Will you trust me?

[sultanofsquat]

[ It was like stepping through the gate at the end of Midgar. The first step towards boundless, horrifying freedom. If so many things could happen to him over the course of a week? How the hell did he manage to keep himself together with these thoughts nearing two months later? He expects Zack to recoil or hesitate. To try and brush things off and change the subject. But Cloud knows just as well as him...there's something missing. Something that Zack's been keeping, yet...he's hurting too, wasn't he? Had it been anyone else who tore this whole thing open, the outcome would no doubt be far worse. Not only would the Ex-SOLDIER turned merc be lost, but the young boy from a backwater town too. The shell Zack'd been carrying would be all that remains...

What would have happened if "destiny" hadn't intervened and swept Hojo away at Shinra HQ? Who would pick up the pieces then? Whilst Zack's hands go to his hips, Cloud's remain at his sides, palms open and limp as if he could feel his energy being sapped away. A lily flourishes out the side of his head, all as the blond could feel his heart beginning to hammer away in his chest. But he refuses to suffocate. He refuses to let anxiety dismantle him. He didn't know... He didn't know. He didn't know. He didn't know. H̴̝̾e̶̬͘ ̵͎̈́n̸̰̑e̴̙̐è̷ͅḍ̴̊è̶̪d̶̫͌ ̸͍͝ṱ̸͛ỏ̵͕ ̶̛͙ķ̵̇n̸̪͋o̷̡̊w̶̤͊.̶͍̈́ H̴̝̾e̶̬͘ ̵͎̈́n̸̰̑e̴̙̐è̷ͅḍ̴̊è̶̪d̶̫͌ ̸͍͝ṱ̸͛ỏ̵͕ ̶̛͙ķ̵̇n̸̪͋o̷̡̊w̶̤͊.̶͍̈́ H̴̝̾e̶̬͘ ̵͎̈́n̸̰̑e̴̙̐è̷ͅḍ̴̊è̶̪d̶̫͌ ̸͍͝ṱ̸͛ỏ̵͕ ̶̛͙ķ̵̇n̸̪͋o̷̡̊w̶̤͊.̶͍̈́ H̴̝̾e̶̬͘ ̵͎̈́n̸̰̑e̴̙̐è̷ͅḍ̴̊è̶̪d̶͌———— ]

Ah...?

[ When he reaches out one more time, ruffling his hair, Cloud's head sways too easily with the motions...something that leaves his eyes feeling heavy. The scene changes with a flash in his mind's eye. And as quickly as it came, it's gone again, their eyes meet and he answers before he can think. ]

Yes.

[ Please. Set the both of you free. ]

[fairlyheroic]

[nothing about the plaque in his hand has changed but it suddenly feels heavy. And out of all the things he could write, each one would only make it heavier. Zack searches Cloud's face for a moment and he's not sure what he's trying to find, but it isn't there. Cloud's really trusting him with this.

A part of him is worried what will happen next; the last time he watched someone learn the truth, he had to watch a good man's slow decent into madness. There's differences, important ones, but he still can't help but be reminded of it. The week leading up to the disaster, Sephiroth locked away in the manor discovering where he came from - Zack doesn't want to see that happen again.

But . . . he also knows Cloud is stronger than that. This is something that, somewhere inside his head, he already knows. It isn't some life-shattering revelation like it had been with Sephiroth. Really, in the end it's just a reminder.

A big one. But a reminder all the same.

He debates trying to word it in a way that's less direct, but for all that Zack can be vague about most things, this time the words don't come. So, he writes it in answer to what Cloud asked and, after taking a moment to frown at the tablet and his messy handwriting, turns to hang it up before he can second guess it.

"You never made SOLDIER."

His hand returns, this time clasping Cloud on the shoulder. And instead of trying to explain it better, he waits]

[sultanofsquat]

[ The plaque goes up as it feels like his heart was ready to jump out of his throat. Every time he swallowed, it felt like that nervous lump wouldn't go away. Choking yet breathing perfectly fine. He slowly steps towards it, barely registering the hand upon his shoulder. ...barely being important here. Without it, he would feel like he lost his anchor, drifting farther and farther away. Despite himself, he's...scared. But he didn't come this far not to find the truth. Not when he'd learned so much in his time here. He was tired of falling asleep just "accepting" things. He... ]

..... Ggh...

[ What? Cloud can't make out what it says. Or rather, even when staring straight at it, the words appear to be jumping around. Scrambling in his mind's eye to give him something else. Anything else. A high-pitched noise pierces his ears, threatening to send him over the edge as his eyes widen. His breath clips, before something else inside of him snaps. Not his sanity...but another voice.

It was...

"Hey buddy." ]

— — —

[ ...his own. Cloud's hearing his own voice in his head again. He thinks. On the surface with Zack, he looks as if he's frozen, hand resting over the plaque as the message sits right there in front of him. Yet underneath it all, he's on the brink of something very risky. Elsewhere, he finds himself standing in an empty white void, a familiar space that he can't place where he was last. ]

This is...

[ He can't quite see his face, but standing across from him, sharing his height, his tone...gradually they'll become clearer. His voice still sounds ethereal.

"You sure about this? Don't think this was supposed to be how it goes," the double of him warns, leaving Cloud confused as their face remains shrouded in a hazy light. Beforehand, he was barely conscious, being told to get moving and to slowly and steadily collect himself, before he came around thanks to Aerith calling him. But now...things were different. This time, the Ex-SOLDIER wasn't unconscious. He was in charge of his own thoughts and actions. So then... ]

I know.

[ The double places their hands on their hips, sighing as they shake their head.

"Guess a lot has changed in the first place... Can I ask you something?" ]

Shoot.

[ "If you go back...when this is all over... You'll probably forget all this." His words leave a sinking feeling in his chest, the blond's gaze faltering as he stares down at himself. The sad reality was...he was right. His double was probably right. If he was sent back through the door back to his planet, and time proceeded normally? Who was to say he'd keep his memories of this other world intact? He wouldn't remember dragging Reno out of a swamp for some bounty. He wouldn't remember wishing for his friends to be safe, only to have Zack back in his life and setting the wheels in motion. He wouldn't have the memories of a certain white heron princess, someone who made him feel solace and comfort in a time when he felt lost...

"You think you can do that again?"

When Cloud finds out about the truth back home? ]

I'll have to.

[ Last time, he asked the mysterious double, "Who are you?" This time, he steps forth, closing what little distance remains between himself and his other. No...it wasn't some "other". ]

Well? [ Himself. ] You ready?

[ "I can't let you see everything yet, but..." The haze around his double's face finally vanishes. Sure enough, the blond can see perfectly. A reflection of himself. The reflection steps forth, nodding resolute and not stopping. "This'll be enough." As his reflection walks into him...he melds into the blond, his sight going white as the voice becomes less ethereal, and something more clear, softer yet determined in his head. Until the voice that was once separate from his?

Is finally his own. A part of him. A part of Cloud, from Nibelheim. ]

[ "Let's go, Cloud." ]

— — —

[ Back in reality, Cloud is clutching the plaque without ripping it down from the wall, until he finally breathes again...and his palm slips down from the words. They were no longer jumping around and distorted. They're clear. Crystal clear as the weight of Zack's hand upon his shoulder is that much more heavy than before. That much more real and less distant to him. It's familiar... ]

Zack...

[ He never made SOLDIER. But he was still Cloud. ]

[fairlyheroic]

[his hand stays the entire time, a firm grip - a friendly one, and whether he intended as an anchor or just a sign of support doesn't really matter. Zack keeps a close watch in case this goes bad, if it gets worse than what he's seen so far. And there's a moment, when Cloud's breathing changes that Zack frowns and tightens his grp, but—

He's completely forgotten the flowers, most of them having fallen out of his hair from this one. A few remain, but those will have to stay - because this is more than enough. Unless Cloud wants to learn the rest, but - . . . Zack isn't sure he wants to reveal those secrets this way. They're too heavy for something like this. Heavy and expensive.

This time he squeezes Cloud's shoulder and steps closer, and when Cloud's hand drops -] All right?

. . . you were planning to try out, so it's more that you didn't get the chance to. Not that it matters much - you've got all the important parts already. [and he isn't talking about the enhancements the mako injections gave them]

[sultanofsquat]

[ As he turns to look back at Zack, there's still a small part of him (the part of him manifest from his past traumas) that wished that the message was a lie. That he didn't have to leave the comfort and safety of the illusion he'd cast for himself. But as he spots the flowers wilting and floating down beneath their feet, gaze following... He swallows, thinking he would choke once again...only to find himself sigh once more.

It's like he's been set free. Maybe he was still in shock? ]

You were there... [ "Cloud... Finish Sephiroth...off!" ] In Nibelheim, we were both...

[fairlyheroic]

[there's a notable pause, his fingers briefly tightening before relaxing. Of course it's one of the things he didn't want to talk about - not for his sake (never for his sake), but for Cloud's. But if he's asking - it's different, and Zack takes a breath, lets it out slowly, and nods]

I was. [a few more petals wilt and fall off but he doesn't notice. There's a lot he can say - a lot he can't - and about a dozen different things come to mind before he settles on . . . ]

Do you remember inviting me to dinner? I still have that e-mail saved on my phone.

[. . . something that isn't any of those things]

[sultanofsquat]

Yeah...

[ Those messages were long gone, now. Forgotten to time. But if it weren't for Zack's presence? These revelations would have never come to light in the first place. What's odd to him is that when he tries to think back through what was real? It...didn't hurt any more. He feels lightheaded, but for a completely different reason as he turns fully to look up at his best friend. ]

You had to try Mom's cooking.

[fairlyheroic]

[little does Cloud know . . . somewhere in the little office he has, buried in a drawer is his PHS. Now he's got two reasons to find a charger somewhere in this place and dig it out. Find the good memories buried in a bunch of e-mails he saved because - he doesn't remember why he saved everything, but he's kind of glad he did.

Still . . . even that comes with its downside, and he sighs out, his smile fading a little] I'm sorry we never got the chance to.