jikan_rpg | I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear

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I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear

⌛ Who: Noctis Lucis Caelum and Prompto Argentum
⌛ What: Nightmares and comfort
⌛ When: About a month after Noctis’s arrival
⌛ Where: Their home
⌛ Warnings: Trauma, talk of death, kisses

It gets easier by the day to deal with the trauma he left behind on Eos. The memories are still fresh in his mind, but when it’s not his reality every day, it’s easier to push it aside and focus on his new life in Nippon, on his home he shares with his best friend, and on the new friends he’s made from other worlds. Ignis and Gladio would be proud, he thinks, that he’s finally managed to make a few friends who aren’t Prompto. Though there’s nothing wrong with Prompto being his only friend.

The nights, however, are rough. Noctis is left alone with his own thoughts, unable to distract himself from his fears and insecurities that weasel their way into his mind, taking hold and staying there to fester until sleep finally claims him. That’s when he struggles the most - when he’s sleeping. And tonight, his sleep is the furthest thing from restful, fraught with nightmares.

It starts just like all of them do, with Noctis falling, summoning a blade, and plunging the it into a wall until it catches on something and he stops. But this time he’s not in Insomnia, he’s not in Tenebrae or Gralea, either. There are no squads of MTs firing at him, he’s not attempting to save somebody that he’s lost, which is a common theme in his nightmares. This time, he’s… nowhere. There’s nothing around him but beautiful blues and purples, empty except for himself. But he hears his name from a voice that’s distinct and nonhuman, and he turns to see one of the Astrals standing before him. Bahamut.

Before Noctis can say anything in response, he’s falling again, but this time he’s unable to catch himself before he hits the floor, landing in the middle of the throne room in the Citadel. It takes him a minute to open his eyes, and when he does, he sees Ardyn sitting on the throne, surrounded by the bodies of his father, Luna, Nyx, and Niflheim’s own emperor, bloody, decaying, hanging from the ceiling in chains.

Noctis wakes with a shout.

It takes him a minute to realize that he’s sitting in his bed, alone, in his room in Tokyo. His brow is sweat soaked, hair sticking to his forehead and neck. He takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes, and remains sitting in the middle of his bed with his face in his hands, trying to calm down enough to stop trembling, tears rolling down his cheeks.

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How can Noctis possibly explain the feeling he has that what he saw wasn't just a dream? It sounds ridiculous, but he can't shake the feeling that horrors he saw are something from his future. It felt far too real to have just been a dream... but he decides to keep that to himself for the time being. Prompto doesn't need to know about that, doesn't need that weight on his shoulders, too.

His left arm curls tighter around Prompto, leaving not even an inch of space between them. His presence and the gentle kisses to his cheeks help Noctis calm down enough to keep talking. His eyes remain closed as he pictures the rest of the nightmare in crystal clear detail.

"The throne room was wrecked, one of the walls reduced to nothing more than a pile of rubble covering one of the staircases." He pauses, takes a deep breath, "Ardyn was sitting there with a shit eating grin on his face, but that's not even the worst part."

Noctis doesn't know if the bodies he saw were their actual bodies that Ardyn had somehow procured or if they were yet another illusion created by the man to hurt him at his core, much like the illusions of Prompto he saw while he was desperately searching for his best friend.

"The worst..." he starts, pausing again to swallow tears back. "Was the bodies hanging from the ceiling, all of them strung up in chains. I saw my father's battered body, dried blood where his eyes should have been. I saw Luna, her dress torn and bloodstained, and Nyx. And I saw Iedolas Aldercapt."

His arm wraps around Noct, clinging to his side and just lets his head drop down onto his friends shoulder. The dream hadn't finished though, there was more to it and Noct kept on talking until Prompto eventually started to run his hand up and down Noct's arm.

Though when Noct got the worst part... Prompto actually frowned.

"I... that's creepy, but I get your dad and Luna... But why would he have the others there?" Why Nyx? And why the hell that old Aldercapt guy? What reason would those two be there, he didn't think either had much of a connection to Noct. At least not a connection that would cause him pain. The other two would have hurt him... "That's a sucky dream. I think we're gonna have to stop eatin weird stuff before bed."

“Nyx used the Ring of Lucii. His arm and the side of his face looked like it was made of crystal, the damage done to anybody who wears the ring who isn’t worthy,” he says softly. “I guess maybe a warning.”

He doesn’t quite understand why Nyx Ulric was in his dream, but there’s no mistaking that face, that hair, the Kingsglaive uniform. And Noctis knows the damage the Ring of Lucii can do to somebody who isn’t deemed worthy, who isn’t a king in the line of Lucis. It’s such a heavy burden to bear, he thinks, lifting his right arm up to look at the ring on his hand before resting it atop Prompto’s hand once more.

“I don’t know that watching what we eat is going to keep these nightmares from invading my subconscious and disrupting my sleep.”

Nightmares? Visions. Something more than just a nightmare, he thinks, still not ready to tell Prompto that detail.

Adjusting himself a bit, Noctis presses a kid to the top of Prompto’s head. He likes this, it feels right, but he wishes that Prompto had found himself in his bed under different circumstances.

"Worth a try?" But it was still really weird that Noct would dream stuff like that. Prompto couldn't even guess what any of it meant, just that it had shaken Noct up deeply.

He smiled when he felt lips touch the top of his head. For a moment his eyes closed, just enjoying it. Maybe better circumstances would have made all of this better, but Prompto wasn't going to knock it. Being there for Noct was the most important thing he could think of. He raised his head to deliver a kiss of his own to Noct's jaw.

"You're worthy though, Noct." He turned his hand under Noct's, threading his fingers with his. "But I'm here for you, okay? If the nightmares come back, I mean."

Noctis doesn't say anything for several minutes, taking that time to think about what Prompto said, that he would be there for Noctis should he have another nightmare. That means more to Noctis than anything else right now. Prompto has always been there for him, ready to give up his life at any second to protect Notcis. He didn't have any obligations to be there for him, wasn't tied to him in any way, just... did what he did for nothing but friendship and, plain and simple, love.

"You're always welcome in my bed, you know" he says.

He tugs at Prompto to pull him up so they're face to face again, giving him a soft smile before leaning in for a kiss. This kiss is tender, Noctis taking his time to kiss Prompto properly, hoping to convey every ounce of adoration he can in a single gesture. He wants Prompto to know how thankful he is for him, how much he cares about him, and how much this new step in their relationship means to him.

"It would save you a frantic trip down the hall if I wake up screaming from another nightmare."

Well didn't that just do a number on Prompto. He turned bright red and was all set to splutter and protest if Noct hadn't pulled him up to kiss him again, stalling his panicked outburst in its tracks.

Had Noct even realised how what he said had sounded?? They'd only just gotten to a kissing stage and now he was inviting Prompto to come sleep with him!

Though once the kiss had calmed him down some, and Noct had explained a bit more, he realised that sleeping with Noct wasn't on the table, just sleeping in the same bed. And that was...better. Much easier for his brain to latch onto. He laughed quietly and leaned in to return a soft kiss of his own. "Kinda hope you don't have any more. But if you do I wanna be here. Even if I've gotta drag my bed in here or something."

"Prompto, why would you drag your bed in here?" Noctis sighs, pausing to brush some of the hair from Prompto's eyes, "I meant what I said... You're laying here with me now, kissing me. We've clearly moved past just friendship at this point."

With everything that has happened tonight - the nightmare, Prompto rushing in here to be by his side, Noctis kissing him - this seems like as good a time as any to address everything now that Noctis has gotten the nightmare off of his chest. It's still in his mind, slowly being pushed to the back of it until he has another one, but now he intends to focus on his best friend who is currently in his arms, in his bed.

"We've shared a bed plenty of times, and this one is big enough for us both," he continues. "You're welcome to sleep here, next to me."

After all, Noctis admitted to himself a while ago that he missed sleeping next to somebody. He'd gotten used to it while they were traveling across Lucis. There was always another body next to his and, more often than not, it was Prompto.

"You mean that...?" Prompto asked softly, a smile playing upon his lips. He'd thought... Well, he wasn't sure what he thought. Friends could kiss, maybe? Why would anyone want more than that from him? He didn't want to ruin what they had together because his friendship with Noct was the best thing in his life. But kissing him? Kissing him had felt like coming home...

Prompto lowered himself down, dropping his head to rest his chin upon Noct's chest. "... I kinda... okay, I'll admit it, I've had trouble sleeping here because I got used to being with you guys. Weird, huh? Slept alone my whole life and then spend a little time sleeping with a couple guys and I'm ruined." So really, he supposed sleeping next to Noct would help them both.

"I got used to sleeping with everybody around, too," he says, leaning up to kiss Prompto, only managing to get a kiss to his forehead. "So, yeah, I mean that. I want you sleeping in my bed from now on if you want to."

Noctis doesn't know what he can say or do to reassure Prompto that he's never been more sure of anything in his life, that he's been wanting this for years. He's head over heels for his best friend and has been, he just never realized it, always brushing those feelings aside to focus on school, being a Prince, the marriage he was forced into by his father and Niflheim. Even Luna knew how Noctis felt about Prompto... at least, he thinks she did. He sure wrote about Prompto enough in their shared notebook.

"And if you want to move your clothes and things in here, too, I have room in my closet... I did get the master bedroom, after all."

Noctis is delaying the rest of this conversation, still trying to push his nightmare to the back of his mind while simultaneously working up a little more courage - this time to ask Prompto if he wants to be his boyfriend.

Noctis had said everything he needed to reassure Prompto. It was still amazing, it still stunned him that any of this was happening and that Noct was just kissing him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sure he was sprawled all across his bestfriends chest while laying in his bed, but that was... not so bad, was it? Friends could cuddle.

But he didn't want to be just friends. Prompto would if he needed to be, but if he was given a choice...

Prompto thought about that for a little while before he laughed and stretched up to softly kiss Noct's chin.

"I guess I can do that... But hey, Noct?" He shifted and, as he had done before, he pulled his knees up so that he could sit astride Noct's waist and sat himself up a little to look down at his friend. "You don't think that's fast?" He grinned and reached for Nocts hands with both of his. Distractions were good. Noct had a terrible dream and his eyes were still puffy and red from crying, all Prompto wanted now was to try and make Noct smile. "Shouldn't you be askin me out on a date? Wine and dine me and stuff? That's how it's done, isn't it? Never been on a date though..."

He can't hide the grin that slowly spreads across his face as Prompto looks down at him, overwhelming him with questions he doesn't have the answer to. Sure, they've moved... a little fast. Maybe. But Noctis figures after the years they've spent as best friends, sleeping in the same bed on their road trip, sharing a tent with Gladio and Ignis, too, that maybe it's not too fast to share a bed again. It's not like they're taking their underwear off just yet.

"I can take you on a date if that's what you want," he says, resting his hands at Prompto's hips. "I went on a few in high school and they just... turned out poorly."

Most people only wanted to be seen with him so they could be seen with the Crown Prince, they didn't actually care about Noctis. So, after two or three failed dates, he stopped entertaining the idea altogether. It was more fun spending his Friday and Saturday nights in his apartment, playing video games with Prompto anyway.

"If you're okay with skipping the first date thing, we can just move directly to, uh," he starts, pausing to take a deep breath. "You being my boyfriend."

There was no hiding that little shiver when Noct just casually dropped his hands onto Prompto's hips. He thought it was a pretty bold move for his bestie and the little thrill of the touch had Prompto's heart racing. Though talking about all the dates Noct had been on was pretty much killing his boner. Not that he had one. But if he did, it would have died a sad and sorry death by now!

He pouted down at Noct. "Dude, seriously? You're talking about other dates when you've got me sat on you? Read the room, Noct!" He teased with a laugh, just before Noct suggested they skip the date completely and go straight for the next part. Prompto's cheeks warmed quite nicely. "Huh? No way! You're not skimping out on a date, mister! But..." Prompto leaned forward, a warm smile playing upon his lips. "I don't mind skippin straight to boyfriend perks if you're sure?"

"Come on Prompto, cut me some slack. I didn't expect my night to go in this direction when I woke up after that nightmare," he says, looking up at Prompto, hands still resting on his hips. "But it just felt... right, I guess. To kiss you. So, yeah, I'm sure."

He knew that he'd never work up the courage to do it on his own, and Prompto's soft kisses on his cheek, as the tears rolled down his face, gave him the boost he needed. It wasn't how he ever saw this happening, though, if he was being honest, this isn't something he ever saw happening at all. Not in Lucis, at least, because he had obligations as King of Lucis that he couldn't get around. There's no way he'd have been able to pursue any sort of relationship with Prompto back home.

But here in Nippon? Where he's nothing more than some average guy? That changes everything.

"And I do want to take you on a date. I want to show you off to the few friends I have," he starts, pausing for a second. "I want to do everything I wouldn't have been able to do in Lucis."

Prompto didn't know... Sometimes he wondered if he would be okay with being Noct's concubine. Kings were allowed to have those, right? Would Lunafreya have been okay with Noct having a bit on the side? Probably not. And truthfully, Prompto would have hated being the 'bit on the side', he wanted to be the main dish! So even if he entertained thoughts, he would never have tried to carry them out.

He slid his hands up Noct's chest to his shoulders and eased them around Noct. Prompto went in for a hug. He'd wanted a kiss, but just hearing his bestfriends words made his heart ache and a hug was just what he needed.

He wanted to argue that he wasn't anything worth showing off. If they tried then all eyes would be on Noct, as they should be. He was a beautiful man, after all. Every inch the royal prince. With eyes you could get lost in... Prompto considered himself pretty plain by comparison. But as he'd told his friend, he read the room and was smart enough to keep his mouth shut so as not to cause an argument he knew he would only back down from.

"Yeah, we'll do all the things we never could before. Because we can now."

Wrapping his arms around Prompto, Noctis pulls him as close as possible. They didn't hug often, it was just something that had never been a part of their friendship - any of them - and Noctis wonders why, because he thinks he would have enjoyed a hug every now and then. So he's going to enjoy this one for a few seconds. And he's going to enjoy everything he can while they're in Nippon, especially all of the things they could never do in Lucis.

He knows not everything will be wonderful, that the future for both of them is uncertain and he'll likely have more nightmares, but he knows it's not going to be so bad with Prompto by his side.

"Thanks for coming in here earlier," he finally says, voice soft, arms still wrapped around Prompto. "Kinda looking forward to not waking up alone next time I have a nightmare."

Hugs were nice. And right then it felt like a prime moment for a good cuddle. And since they were together now, right? That meant he could hug at will! Or at least, he could maybe try. Would they have a learning curve for that kind of thing? Noct wasn't usually someone who liked to be touched, so would he be against Prompto touching?

He didn't seem to have any problems with it now... But was this the exception to the rule?

Prompto supposed it didn't matter. They'd work it out for themselves.

"That mean you really want me to stay with you tonight?" Prompto asked with a smile as he raised his head so that he could look down at Noct. "And you really think I could hear you yell and not come running? No way! I'll come rescue you every time, Noct!"

He's not usually one for much physical contact, but Noctis thinks that, with time he could easily get used to it. He's known Prompto for years, after all, so it's... different. It's easier to allow these touches when it's your best friend who greets you with a slap on the ass.

"Yeah, but you're not part of my Crownsguard here," he says with a laugh. "It's not like you had to come in here... You were just being a good friend and I think that's deserves a thank you."

This whole relationship thing will be a learning process for the both of them, as neither have had any experience as far as relationships go. But... Noctis thinks that he wouldn't want to learn how to do this relationship thing with anybody other than his best friend.

"And, yeah, I'd like for you to stay here tonight if you want to."

"You need to quit that." Prompto complained with a pout. He slid off of Noct and dropped onto his side onto the bed, his head on the pillow. He was going to stay the night, he couldn't very well sleep on top of Noct the whole night!

"... Also wtf? I'm always gonna be your Crownsguard, Noct! AND your bestfriend! And... uh... boyfriend now..." Was he blushing AND pouting? Damn right he was. "... You mean a lot to me, okay? So no matter what of those three I am, I'll come runnin no matter what. So there." He huffed and pouted some more. Still bright red and fighting the urge to just bury his face in the pillow.

As Prompto settles at his side, Noctis remains on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He's so incredibly lucky to have a best friend like Prompto. He knows that his night would have been much worse had he been alone to deal with what he saw in his nightmare, that he'd still be laying here in tears trying to process everything. And, he technically still is trying to process it, just settled and much more relaxed to deal with it with Prompto's presence and new developments in their relationship.

He reaches over and grabs Prompto's hand, squeezing it once before letting go and folding his hands on top of his stomach.

"I'd have done the same thing had the shoe been on the other foot, you know," he says after a few minutes of silence, smile on his face. "And I guess if you want to keep up your Crownsguard duties in Nippon, you can... I'm not gonna stop you even if I don't technically need the Crownsguard here."

Prompto wiggled a bit and pressed himself more to Nocts side, his falling closed. While he didn't press his face into the pillow he did lean his cheek on Noct's arm. "Yeah, I know you would." Of course he would. They were friends, after all.

And after a while, when Noct spoke next, Prompto sighed softly. "I didn't mean that... I just mean, I'll always be here for you, Noct. No matter what I am to you." Even if he was nothing at all, he'd watch over Noct. Because he was precious to him. And he'd made a promise, so long ago, to be by his side. Prompto kept his promises.

“I got lucky,” he says, small smile on his face. “Not everybody has a best friend that’s willing to give their life for them. But I’ve got you… And Gladio and Ignis, too. All three of you have done way more than I could ever ask for.”

But with Prompto, it’s different. Noctis knows that Gladio and Ignis are sworn to him, they’ve been his Shield and his Advisor since he was a small child. But Prompto? Prompto dove in head first, working up the courage to become friends in high school and then risking his everything for Noctis time and time again. And he has no ties to the Crown, nothing besides his love for Noctis that’s keeping him here.

Noctis turns his head and kisses Prompto’s forehead, “And now I get to have you as my boyfriend? Definitely got lucky. Everybody’s going to be jealous.”

Prompto's eyes fluttered closed when Noct turned to kiss him. His forehead tingled a little where those warm lips touched, and Prompto's heart skipped a beat. It was such a simple gesture. A nothing gesture, compared to the way he'd been straddling his bestfriend moments before and kissing the hell out of him. But somehow that little kiss was the one to make him blush darkly.

"I think I'm the luck one here." And everyone being jealous? No way. Everyone wondering what Noct was doing with him? That made more sense. But Prompto wasn't going to say that or dwell on it too much. Because he was happy. Right there in that moment he was happy and knew that whatever the future had in store for them, they would face it head on. Together.

“Boyfriend that sleeps all the time and doesn’t know how to cook without Ignis? Yeah, you hit the jackpot,” he laughs. “I guess we’re both lucky, though, that we’re here, doing well minus the nightmare, and have each other.”

Noctis tries not to let his mind wander to his nightmare again, tries to stop himself from thinking about the state that he left Lucis in when he started experiencing the time loop. The days were growing shorter, darkness creeping in on them slowly, and he has no idea what’s in store should they ever get to go home… But that’s not important in Nippon, right?

He’s got other things to worry about here, like getting a job, supporting Prompto’s career as a photographer, not getting himself killed by super soldiers… It’s mostly boring, no road-trips like they had been on across Lucis, nothing exciting like that, but Noctis prefers it that way.

Reaching around, Noctis finally lands on Prompto’s hand and threads their fingers together, squeezing softly, “It’s probably late. You think we should try to get some sleep?”

"Don't judge me for my tastes, dude. That's kink shaming and not cool!" He was, of course, mostly joking. Though if he thought about it then he supposed Noct was his biggest kink! The guy only had to look at him to get his pulse racing!

His lips curve into a gentle smile when Noct takes his hand. "Think you should, too. You need it more." And besides, Prompto wanted to stay awake a little longer. Maybe he'd pretend to sleep, just to keep Noct happy. But he really wanted to stay awake and make sure that Noct slept more peacefully.

"I'm so gonna kink shame you if that's what you're into," he says, trying to cover up his yawn.

But he knows Prompto knows he's fighting sleep at this point. They've spent enough time together by now that Prompto can easily tell when he's minutes from sleep. Ignis and Gladio can tell, too. The power of Lucian kings is draining, even here in Nippon, but he doesn't feel it as strongly as he did back home, probably due to the fact that the Crystal isn't here with them... That doesn't stop him from thinking about it, though, his mind drifting back to his dream, their own world, what awaits him when if he is ever able to return.

Noctis yawns again, "You need to get some sleep too, Prom. You've been up as long as I have."

I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear

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