jikan_rpg | ✵ [Jan Catchall] Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist.

[He isn't paying much attention at first - yes, actually grateful for the peace and quiet - but he isn't blind to the odd way the water in front of him is shifting. Diluc frowns again, straightening his back and shoulders and narrowing his eyes on the ocean, the way it's pulling back in such an unnatural way...

The redhead huffs out a sigh and stands up, stepping backwards until he's as far up against the edge of the beach as he can possibly get. The bucket that Childe had left with him is left behind, ready to be a casualty for any mischief that the Harbinger is currently brewing up.

Is he worried..? He wouldn't call it worry. Hydro users have an affinity for water that he would never be able to fully understand, and Childe himself has an affinity for chaos that he understands enough to be mindful of it.

So he waits, arms folded, fingers loosely curled around his elbows, for whatever ridiculous thing the other man might be planning.]

[ Before Diluc the water swells into a bubble, unnatural in how perfect it is, how round and viscous and clear. There's movement within that, at first glance, looks to be only churning water swirling in ceaseless undulations around and around just under the surface. Certainly nothing suspicious going on here.

There is still no sound from Childe, no sign of his brightly colored hair or his laugh or his smile. The waves continue to be pulled back as though drawn like a curtain by an invisible thread, revealing the smooth, polished stone of the ocean floor beneath.

However, the bubble stays in place and only just chooses to rise from the depths, a perfectly circular structure that spins with some unseen force, faster and faster and faster until -

- it explodes, not in a spray of water but in shapes. A starfish here, a dolphin there, a weaving, bobbing whale that floats on the currents with a haunting cry. They do not spring for Diluc but simply float towards him, sparkling and shimmering in what sun there is. They orbit gently around his head, around his body, dipping in but never touching, waiting for only a touch, a brush to dissipate into mist. ]

[Nothing at all suspicious going on. Nothing for Diluc to worry about at all.

Though perhaps it's telling that even in the face of this obvious display of a Hydro Vision's power, he doesn't draw his weapon and his own Vision stays calm and lightless by his hip. He isn't concerned. Something in him doesn't believe that Childe would choose to attack him like this.

He does grow tense when the bubble explodes, when the shapes burst forward from it and move towards him, but hasn't he seen this kind of display before? Smaller, but he knows that Childe can do this.

Diluc stays where he is on the rocks, standing, his arms dropping down from their tightly folded position as he silently observes the bobbing forms. He does lift his hand up to curiously touch a dolphin as it weaves in close enough, his fingers startling back slightly as it vanishes in a puff of mist that maintains its former shape for only a moment before being taken by the wind.]

... Show-off. [He mutters with a small shake of his head. Can the other man hear him? He isn't sure, but he speaks anyway.] I hardly see why you had to take your clothes off for this, Childe.

[ In response there's finally, finally the familiar tone of laughter bubbling up from beside him. Childe laughs without any real care in the world, light and free like the Hydro creatures spawned from the popped bubble. The few that linger continue to dance around Diluc, little stars and larger octopi and a stray fish or two, but they neither explode nor dissipate into vapor until touched.

The one exception is perhaps the most obvious. Childe's affinity for large, flashy things has not gone unnoticed, apparently, and the whale continues to orbit gently around Diluc's form with its mournful, haunting cry.

If Diluc happens to look over he'll see that Childe, while still shirtless and scarfless, has retained the rest of his clothing and stands just out of his peripheral vision with his arms crossed over his chest. The Vision at his hip is, of course, glowing, and his hair still has that same frumpled, boyishly messy look from before.

The whale moves in, daringly, and gently baps at Diluc's lips in an intimation of a kiss - before it explodes with a wet pop and splatters misty droplets all over the other's front. ]

[Diluc is still not looking Childe's way out of a pure and simple desire to not see him shirtless unless he absolutely has to, but the Hydro shapes are distracting enough (he's still a little tense and it shows in the set of his shoulders and how he shifts each time one of the 'creatures' gets too close) that he doesn't really need to make a show of it.

He watches the whale once it's one of the few things left, keeping a keen eye on it, and he's alert enough that when it moves in far too near to him he takes a smart step back (in no mood to be drenched) but still ends up with a spray of mist across the front of his coat.

Disgruntled, he sighs and brushes his hand across the dampened fabric.]

Just what was all of that in aid of?

Do I really need a reason?

[ The tide returns, cresting against the rock like normal, and everything returns to how it once was. There is no longer the tug of the tides away, no more undulating and swirling just beneath the surface. Another rustle of fabric sounds and Childe is quick to redress himself as if he hadn't had any intention at all of going into the water in the first place and, really, had just intended to mess with Diluc this whole time.

The scarf is the last thing he settles around his shoulders and it takes little for him to return to the other's side, stooping to pick up his shells with a musical tinkling before straightening up again. ]

Would you have preferred it if I attacked you?

['There's something wrong with you'. He remembers saying that, the words launching themselves out of the chaotic swirl of his riled emotions the last time they had met. He still believes that, though he might choose to use different words to express it.]

Why does it have to be either? I didn't come out here looking for a fight. Or for you, in fact.

[How they interact with one another is still so confusing. It was easier when Childe thought Diluc hated him. Not that it had stopped the Harbinger from gleefully pestering him at every given opportunity.

He gives the man a sidelong look, finally.]

Or is this just how you behave towards people that you're fond of?

[ There's not really anyone he can compare Diluc to because, when he thinks about it, his relationship with Diluc is perhaps the most complex out of all of them. He's spent longer than was necessary considering the nuances of what they had, whether it was friendship or tolerating each other or something more.

If this ended in a fight between them, he imagined, he'd probably understand it a little more. Life is easier when one reduces it down to its most basic components. Love for the family, spite for his enemies. Combat. Loyalty. Anything more than that is just unnecessary.

Their relationship feels strained, at best. Even now he feels uncertain as to whether or not Diluc actually dislikes him or if he's simply tolerating his company. He's not quite sure which he would prefer.

There is little he offers to the question, nothing save for a smile which does not quite reach his eyes. The ocean gently crashes against the rocks, and he turns his gaze out towards the sea and what he thinks he can glimpse of the boats moored along the boundary line. ]

Who knows. But it isn't important. I'll leave you to your thoughts, Diluc.

[If asked, Diluc would say he tolerates the man because trying to push him away is frustrating at best and would probably lead to a fight at worst. Something he still has no interest in, in part because he sees no use in it and in part because he knows it's something that Childe wants and refusing him is peculiarly satisfying.

If pressed, it's unlikely he would change his stance on how he feels about the Harbinger. He has his reasons to dislike him and everything he stands for, as Childe well knows. Giving more detail to it would just be unnecessary.

Because it is complicated. As much as he dislikes the young man as a Harbinger, as one of the Fatui, for everything that casts a shadow over him when it comes to the events of Diluc's past, the young man himself is not entirely objectionable as an individual. Under different circumstances they might have even been friends and even being aware of that as a possibility is a discomforting thing.]

I'll decide if it isn't important. [He shoots back, irritation at being dismissed colouring his tone for a moment. Diluc looks up at the sky - heavy grey clouds hanging low - and puffs out a sigh through his nose.]

I'm going to get a hot drink. You can accompany me if you wish.

[And with that he steps down from the rock he's standing on, hopping lightly down onto the sand and setting off down the beach. Though he doesn't turn around his pace isn't rushed - Childe will follow him, or he won't... and either is fine.]

[ Ah--

Childe blinks. Surprise registers on his face at the irritated remark, the wide-eyed look adding a touch of naivete on his features that doesn't feel entirely out of place. For all that he's a terrifying Fatui, it's a look he wears remarkably well.

Diluc's back is already turned, and he's already walking away with that barely-there invitation tossed over his shoulder for him to join him - if he'd like. While Childe is sorely tempted to just ditch him and be done with it, leaving Diluc to his thoughts as he'd said - their relationship has never been so simple, and he knew it would not be so now.

So he's quick to hop off the rock, following Diluc's own trail of footprints at a leisurely crawl. The bucket swings in his hand a little and perhaps the only indication Diluc will get that he isn't alone is the sound of shells and seaglass tinkling musically behind him. ]

[He isn't sure what he expects to happen. Will Childe follow him, or not? With how things have been between them lately either eventuality was just as likely as the other but he still finds himself mildly surprised to hear the sound of softly tinkling shells behind him just over the sound of the ocean spray.

And Diluc tolerates this 'follow-the-leader' scenario for all of ten seconds before he stops and looks over his shoulder.]

Don't trail behind me like that. Are you coming or not?

[Does it make him uncomfortable to have someone following along at his back like that? Well, yes, a little. It isn't just Childe who would garner such a reaction from doing so.

He makes a gesture to his side, crimson eyes lit and sharpened with a kind of irritation that hasn't really been directed at Childe before. It isn't aggressive or derisive, for all that is still clear agitation on Diluc's part.]

Maybe if you didn't walk like you were running a marathon, I wouldn't.

[ Diluc's pause gives him more than enough time to catch up to him, but Childe himself is in no hurry to go to where it is they're going and instead ambles along at a leisurely pace. If Diluc wants to continue to walk side-by-side he'll have to slow down considerably.

But he does note the different tone that he uses, and despite that it's less tolerating and more gruff, he thinks he rather prefers this.

Childe might not have any idea where they're going but it's not as if the beach branches off into different paths. Along the shore there's really only one main path down this way, and it's easy enough to ascertain which direction to head off into if one just used their wits. ]

It's hardly difficult to walk quicker than a snails pace.

[He does slow down, if only because having someone walking behind him raises the hair on the back of his neck in a way that he can really do without. In this case it's certainly not personal - he doesn't like Kaeya trailing behind him either and he trusts that man more than anyone to not put a knife in his back.

While they're idling their way up the beach he hooks his thumbs into his pockets, occasionally lifting one to tuck a piece of wayward hair back behind his ear as the wind whips at it.

Where he's intending to go isn't far away from the end of the path off the beach - a small cafe-type place serving tea, coffee and a small food menu. It's clear they recognise Diluc when he walks in and he moves for a table immediately, sliding into a chair and unwinding his scarf from around his neck. The place is cosy and warm indoors, the insides of the windows faintly misted with condensation.]

And yet, here I am doing it anyway.

[ The walk down the beach is made leisurely as a result of his slower pace, and Childe does little except bask in the ambiance of it all. To some, a gentle, easy walk along the sands with another person who one did not completely abhor was as romantic as any date, and while Childe knows Diluc would probably change his mind about him accompanying him if he said his out loud, it doesn't keep him from wanting to anyway.

Mercifully, they reach the little cafe sooner rather than later and he ducks himself inside before following the man over to the table that seems to be his usual haunt, given the familiarity he eases himself into the chair. It's almost too-warm for Childe, however, and he finds himself unraveling his own scarf and letting it drape over the back of his chair before he peers around in curiosity. ]

This is nice. I can see why you come here often.

Mm... [It's cosy, comfortable, reminds him a little of Mondstadt if he squints. Plus it's easy to reach from the beach and at this time of year somewhere one can quickly duck in and grab a hot drink is a blessing in itself.

Diluc watches Childe carefully, almost cautiously as he settles himself in his seat. Maybe the other man doesn't realise how unusual it is for Diluc to invite somebody else into a space where he goes to find comfort, or maybe he does and is simply doing a good job of not showing it. He still isn't entirely sure what to make of the Snezhnayan since their confrontation before the turn of the year - how much he knows makes Diluc uneasy, even if the information is all but useless to him.

When someone bustles over to take their order, Diluc quietly asks for a pot of a specific tea blend.]

So, [He says once the staff member is gone.] Is there a reason you avoided my question, or is it just that you're embarrassed about what you said to me?

[ There are a number of different ways he could handle this specific line of questioning, especially since he thinks he knows what Diluc is trying to get at, what he's trying to make Childe admit. If it were any other person he might feel annoyed since this feel like a very obvious attempt at manipulation to get him to repeat himself, but he'd like to think he knows Diluc enough to know that the man wouldn't resort to such tactics.

It's not really a point of trauma to have his strings pulled, but it does touch on a few sore spots of his. Even his conversation with Zhongli so many months ago hadn't done much to alleviate his distaste for that particular method of coercion, as evidenced by how he'd snapped on Scaramouche earlier.

That doesn't mean that he enjoys it any less, however. Speaking openly about his feelings is just something he doesn't do, not unless it involved how much he enjoyed the thrill of the fight or his boastful, open claims of power. ]

I don't think I avoided anything. I gave you an answer, it just doesn't seem like one you wanted to hear.

What you gave me was a deflection. Don't think I don't recognise one when I see one.

[After all, hasn't Diluc spent the last several months in Mondstadt neatly dodging questions as to where he has been and what he has been doing for the last four years? About why he left in the first place? Very few people know the whole story.

Though Childe is right - it isn't quite a blunt attempt to simply get him to repeat what he said. Diluc is still trying to make sense of it in his mind, why this man would say something like that and mean it, and the most obvious conclusion to come to is that he was simply lying to mess with Diluc's head at the time. That it was just... something he said to make an already charged situation even more difficult to navigate.

But he doesn't feel like that's it.

There were any number of actual answers Childe could have given to what Diluc had said, but what he had chosen instead was to deflect the question entirely. That's telling in and of itself.]

What is it that you think I want to hear?

[Because surely he can't think that the idea of a Fatui Harbinger holding any kind of genuine fondness towards him is even close to something Diluc would actually desire.]

I assume we're still aiming for a certain amount of honesty with one another. That did seem to be something that you wanted from me.

If I were any kind of mind reader, Diluc, my job would be a lot easier.

[ Speaking of his work with the Northland Bank, of course. It didn't really detract much from his usual "punch first, ask questions later" but it would make the punching a lot quicker if he knew someone was lying to him right away. Perhaps that more than anything is why he didn't prefer the underhanded scheming and the manipulative tactics of his fellow Harbingers - or maybe there was simply no love lost between them. There's truth in both statements, really.

The cafe is a good enough distraction if he chooses to go that route, but he hadn't been lying when he'd said he was fond of Diluc. Didn't he owe it to him to give him an answer despite his apparent discomfort? Were they close enough that he felt justified in it? ]

What do you want me to say? I thought the world was going to reset. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

[ It's not completely untrue - but nor is it really the truth, either. ]

If I hated you, you'd be dead.

[Despite himself he does let out a quiet chuff of amusement at that. Does he think, truthfully, that Childe could actually kill him if they fully came to blows? It's not really a boast that he doesn't think so, though perhaps enough harm could be done that it might be close to the same thing.]

I have never expected you to hate me. [A small shrug at that. Does he expect the strength of his own feeling to be reciprocated by the Fatui elite? Of course not. That would require caring about him in any way at all and he believes that he was, for a time, only an incredibly irritating thorn in their side. Enough for them to dub him a persona non grata, though being worth anything to them means nothing to Diluc regardless.]

I don't expect that any of the Harbingers despise me as much as I do them. I made enough of a nuisance of myself to get under their skin, though they still failed to get rid of me despite their efforts. [Even now he continues to harry at them, though far less directly than he used to.] But I have no delusions of grandeur with regards to how I perceive my level of importance to them.

['Them'. Despite currently speaking to one of the Harbingers, he still references them as something 'other'.]

... I'm not sure what I want you to say. [He goes on then, after a pause while his gaze slants away from the other man. Not some silly thing about if he hated him. They both know that isn't the case.] It still doesn't make any sense to me. But what I said was not said because I was under the assumption that you wouldn't remember it. Make of that what you will.

Edited 2022-01-15 16:03 (UTC)

[ The air between them suddenly feels charged, oppressive, not with the promise of a looming battle but with something he can't quite place. It's not so much terrifying as it is unnerving, pulling a sense of restless unease out of him that he isn't sure how to deal with at first.

Is he uncomfortable? Is that what it is? He's not so sure.

Fighting with Diluc would have been far less complicated than whatever this is going on between them. Childe isn't sure what he himself wants, isn't sure if he wants to pursue this to anything more than what it already is, if he isn't so sure he wouldn't enjoy simply never seeing the other again. There'd been a bond between them - he'd felt it break as well as Diluc had, after all - but why?

It's much too complex for his liking. If he knew at all how to shatter bonds himself he would probably suggest it so they could be rid of each other and go back to other, less complicated things. ]

It almost feels like you wanted me to.

[ To the rest of what he says, though, Childe offers nothing in response. He's not so distracted that he doesn't catch the way that Diluc refers to them as if they were a separate entity, but he's not sure how to feel about it.

There's another slow, creeping roll of thunder overhead. His attention instantly piqued, Childe glances over to the door they'd entered just in time for it to open with the arrival of another guest. From his vantage point he can see the flash of lightning and he imagines he can smell the ozone in the air, the impending signs of an oncoming storm. ]

I should probably go.

No.

[Maybe things would have been easier, simpler, if they had just hated one another with equal ferocity. Maybe he would have preferred that over the complicated tangle that they had ended up with. Even if Diluc had wanted to he has seen Childe vulnerable too many times to hate him, and has seen sides of him that - although he struggles to admit it - he could come to like.

It would have been easier if Childe hated him, but Diluc can't say that it would have been something that he would have wanted. Something he would have expected, accepted, yes. But wanted? Diluc isn't the kind of person to actively want to be hated. His level of bitterness over his past doesn't cut him quite that deeply.

He glances at the door when Childe does, but doesn't keep his attention there for long. The other man's words draw him back, and he finds himself struck by a thought that's almost amusing in its absurdity.

It's pure, unbridled impulse that has him reaching one hand over the table, placing it on top of Childe's and shifting the side of his thumb just a little against the soft patch between his thumb and forefinger. His other forearm takes his weight against the edge of the table, just slightly.]

You're beginning to make a bad habit of walking away from me, Childe. [And he does wonder why, when he couldn't seem to get rid of him before.] Is there something about me that you've started to find unsettling?

[ Of all the things Diluc could have said or done in the moment, Childe hadn't been expecting that.

The hand over his is bad enough, layering his skin with a warmth that bleeds into his bones, sending an unnatural, unwarranted thrill racing along his spine. The expression that takes over his face is much different than the usual self-assured look he wears, the widening of his eyes and the uncertainty suddenly flooding their depths making him look the furthest from one of the Tsaritsa's ruthless Harbingers.

It's in this moment that he looks very much like the man that he should have been, without the need for chaos and his persistent drive for power that were staples of his personality.

Even more incriminating is the flush that suddenly suffuses under his skin, a redness blooming just under his cheeks and bleeding over to the tips of his ears. When Diluc shifts his thumb against his skin, Childe gives a full body jerk with a noise that comes out as a mixture of a gasp and something strained.

It's all the prompting he needs to snatch his hand away and stand up, kicking his chair back perhaps a little too hard and sending it back loud enough to draw attention to the rough scraping of wood on wood.

If he's intending to leave, he doesn't - not yet. Instead, he's just gaping at the other man, the expression on his face equal parts lost and confused and with the blush deepening to almost-permanence on his face. ]

[There's a lot about Childe's reaction to that small gesture that comes as an unexpected surprise. His expression is like nothing Diluc has ever seen him wear, the uncertainty stripping him back to something that the Mondstadt man does not know and yet somehow still recognises. It's the blush, though, that he notices all the more as red flushes across the young Harbinger's face and while Diluc was very much aware that his action would produce a response he didn't think that it would be such a strong one.

The sound of the chair scraping back makes him jump more than anything else. A few patrons glance their way, but quickly go back to their own drinks.

Diluc does not move. He says nothing at first, either. He only draws his hand back across the table and clasps the both of them in front of him, lifting him up to prop his chin lightly against his intertwined fingers.]

Will you sit back down? [Funny, how he doesn't speak as if he's aware of having the upper hand. Diluc's voice stays soft and level, almost gentle if such a thing could ever be applied to his interactions with Childe, and he nods his head slightly to the chair.]

Please.

[ It's almost a crime how long the staff member is taking to return with Diluc's tea, but he imagines he wouldn't notice if he weren't currently fighting for his life in the middle of a restaurant.

It strikes him that if they'd met in Teyvat their relationship might not be so complicated. Childe's loyalties lay where they lay and there wouldn't have been any outside forces at work conspiring against them to bring them together time and time again. It's almost infuriating, really, and is just one more reason for him to miss home.

He thinks he can still feel the warmth of Diluc's hand over his own, bleeding heat into his skin and just the thought of callused fingers brushing over his own makes shivers race up and down his spine again, his body reacting in the only way it knows how after being in a place that indulged him heavily in sensation.

It would be easy to turn and leave. To let Diluc have his tea, his space, his thoughts, but it feels like too much like a cowardly retreat to sit well with him and it's that more than anything that ultimately has him sitting back down.

Interesting enough, the redness on his ears hasn't faded. ]

[If they were still in Teyvat would they have ever met at all? Childe had his own work, his own path, and Diluc had his. No doubt they would simply remain peripherally aware of one another and never truly cross paths in person. And wouldn't that have been far easier? Of course, but Nippon does not seem inclined towards letting things happen easily.

Despite his cool demeanour Diluc can feel his heart racing, thudding in his chest in response to the reaction that simple touch to the hand had provoked in Childe. He doesn't want that, but it happens regardless.

He doesn't really expect that the other man will sit down and when he does the moment of surprises flashes across his expression quite clearly. It's within moments that the tea arrives - perhaps the person who was bringing it had felt that weight in the air and thought it best to see how the scene played out. Diluc never brought other people in here with him after all.

Diluc adjusts the cup, using it as a momentary distraction to gather his thoughts.]

That was impudent of me. Please accept my apologies.

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