He'll be falling from grace

[silversoldier]

⌛ Who: Aerith and Sephiroth
⌛ What: Dealing with Certain Revelations about his future
⌛ When: A few hours after his memshare with Genesis
⌛ Where: Their manor
⌛ Warnings: Very necessary but also not very pretty?

[ Sephiroth didn't know what to believe anymore. Although he was presumably in much better shape than he would have been back home, he still felt lost. Adrift. Without purpose. And above all...

Monstrous.

No matter what Genesis said or what the truth might really have been, his core belief in himself had been shaken. He wandered the streets but didn't acknowledge any of those who passed him by. This was different than his usual dismissal of others though. This time it was that Sephiroth had nothing to give them. He was like a shadow drifting along. He loitered in a park at one point and stood still long enough that something finally penetrated his awareness. It was a voice asking if he was okay. It seemed it was raining.

Sephiroth moved on instead of answering.

He eventually made his way home, and by that time it was night. Sephiroth didn't bother to turn on any lights. He just sat on their sofa in the dark and stared out the window into the night trying to make sense of it all. He knew that nearby there were other people he might ask but he wasn't quite ready for that. He wished, instead, that he could read about what had happened, for surely then it might start to make some kind of sense and, too, he could accomplish this alone. He wouldn't have to see anyone until he was ready. But they weren't at home and it seemed he would be forced to rely on other people here. Eventually. For now, he would sit in silence and sort through his thoughts. ]

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[silversoldier]

[ Sephiroth closed his eyes again at the soft feeling of her lips upon his. He wanted so badly to believe what she was saying but he didn't know if he could. So he just clung to her. Aerith was his lifeline in this maelstrom.

He continued like that for some interminable period, his forehead pressed against hers and his eyes screwed tightly shut, before he was able to speak again. ]

I believe you.

[ It was a leap of faith, one of the first Sephiroth had ever had to make, but it was one that made sense for him to take. She knew him better than he knew himself, so the very fact her faith in him hadn't been shaken even though his had been meant everything. He could and would reform his identity on this alone.

For now though...Sephiroth shared her air and her warmth and settled into the closeness between them as some of the tension left his body. ]

[ancientflower]

[She remained quiet and let Sephiroth work through his thoughts and his feelings to find the words he needed. It took time, but Aerith was patient. She sat with him, softly stroking a hand over his hair, eyes closed and the softest of smiles upon her lips. Everything about her spoke of calm and peace.

And when Sephiroth finally spoke, her smile deepened.]

Believe in me.

[She returned gently, hand finally coming to rest by cupping his cheek within the palm of her hand.]

I will never lie to you.

[silversoldier]

[ Her words echoed in his mind, drowning out both his harsh internal critic and the haunting sounds of memory. Sephiroth's hands tightened into fists and then loosened along with his breath as the remaining tension left his body.

Aerith wouldn't lie to him. He truly did believe in her, and that was what made the difference. ]

Aerith...

[ All the things Sephiroth couldn't express were captured in that one word and then he was hugging her tight, his hands fisting in the back of her nightgown. He held her as one holds a lifeline, because that's what she was and would continue to be to him. He had no intention of ever letting go. ]

[ancientflower]

My Sephiroth.

[He clung to her and in turn she clung back.

Aerith curled her arms tighter around him, one around his head to cradle it to her chest as she did her near best to fold him into her. It was probably a sight to see from the outside, Sephiroth was so much bigger than her. But as if that mattered to Aerith. The bigger they were the harder they fell, and Sephiroth had had a hell of a fall. And she was doing her damned best to catch him before he hurt himself.

And if all she could do was reassure and hold him then that was what she would do. Gladly. Happily. She would never, ever let him go.]

[silversoldier]

[ It wasn't the first time Aerith had held him like this, but never before had Sephiroth been in such a state while it was happening. Perhaps that was why, after being broken and then experiencing this catharsis while being held with such tenderness by her, a single tear tracked down his face and into her nightgown. He felt so raw and drained, but mostly, mostly he knew what it felt like to be loved. And wasn't it strange that this was what drew the moisture from his eyes above everything else? That someone could be so good to him. That she would never leave him, never lie to him. Although they had been together for what felt like a long time, it was just now starting to settle in in a very tangible way. He'd never had this before, never even thought to want it. But it was his to keep. Aerith was his.

Sephiroth clutched her closer and closed his eyes against the rest. He could feel Aerith's heartbeat and let that gentle sensation calm him. ]

[ancientflower]

[It wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last, Aerith was certain of that. She was also certain that her arms would always, always be open and welcoming to Sephiroth. Even if they argued or got into a fight. It didn't matter. This was where he belonged. In her arms, where she could protect him from the hurts of the outside world.

If she felt that slight damp spot appearing on her nightclothes, she didn't mention it and never would. But she did tighten her arms, just as he did. At least one arm. One hand decided that it wanted to stroke over Sephiroth's hair, slow and gentle. Aerith distantly wished she could sing or... something. A lullaby. Maybe help him sleep? Though they really should be in bed for that.

So, after a little while, she ventured into the quiet between them.]

Are you ready to take me to bed, sweet? I think it's time. I can hold you even better there.

[silversoldier]

[ Sephiroth could have stayed like that forever, but Aerith's interjection came at the perfect time: just when he was lulled into a drowsy half-slumber. His entire body felt heavy but there was also peace where he was settled.

He didn't answer her with words. They weren't for this moment. Instead, Sephiroth picked her up, cradling her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. He made his way to their bedroom where he would lay them both down. One thing was for sure. He wasn't about to let her go all night and he knew would do the same for him.

As Sephiroth lay down with Aerith wrapped around him and began to drift off again, he couldn't help but think about how incredibly lucky he was to have her. ]