jikan_rpg | I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear

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I won’t cry, no, I won’t shed a tear

⌛ Who: Noctis Lucis Caelum and Prompto Argentum
⌛ What: Nightmares and comfort
⌛ When: About a month after Noctis’s arrival
⌛ Where: Their home
⌛ Warnings: Trauma, talk of death, kisses

It gets easier by the day to deal with the trauma he left behind on Eos. The memories are still fresh in his mind, but when it’s not his reality every day, it’s easier to push it aside and focus on his new life in Nippon, on his home he shares with his best friend, and on the new friends he’s made from other worlds. Ignis and Gladio would be proud, he thinks, that he’s finally managed to make a few friends who aren’t Prompto. Though there’s nothing wrong with Prompto being his only friend.

The nights, however, are rough. Noctis is left alone with his own thoughts, unable to distract himself from his fears and insecurities that weasel their way into his mind, taking hold and staying there to fester until sleep finally claims him. That’s when he struggles the most - when he’s sleeping. And tonight, his sleep is the furthest thing from restful, fraught with nightmares.

It starts just like all of them do, with Noctis falling, summoning a blade, and plunging the it into a wall until it catches on something and he stops. But this time he’s not in Insomnia, he’s not in Tenebrae or Gralea, either. There are no squads of MTs firing at him, he’s not attempting to save somebody that he’s lost, which is a common theme in his nightmares. This time, he’s… nowhere. There’s nothing around him but beautiful blues and purples, empty except for himself. But he hears his name from a voice that’s distinct and nonhuman, and he turns to see one of the Astrals standing before him. Bahamut.

Before Noctis can say anything in response, he’s falling again, but this time he’s unable to catch himself before he hits the floor, landing in the middle of the throne room in the Citadel. It takes him a minute to open his eyes, and when he does, he sees Ardyn sitting on the throne, surrounded by the bodies of his father, Luna, Nyx, and Niflheim’s own emperor, bloody, decaying, hanging from the ceiling in chains.

Noctis wakes with a shout.

It takes him a minute to realize that he’s sitting in his bed, alone, in his room in Tokyo. His brow is sweat soaked, hair sticking to his forehead and neck. He takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes, and remains sitting in the middle of his bed with his face in his hands, trying to calm down enough to stop trembling, tears rolling down his cheeks.

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This time, Noctis doesn't push Prompto away, because he knows Prompto is right. While he doesn't want to be so weak and so vulnerable, he needs his best friend beside him right now because the last thing he wants is to chance falling back asleep and continuing that nightmare or worse... And the physical contact? Yeah, he doesn't mind that either. Were he actually not incredibly traumatized from the nightmare he just had, he'd even enjoy it. He leans into Prompto's touch and rests his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes.

"You know I would be there for you if you were upset," he says. "I wouldn't give it a second thought."

There's nothing Noctis wouldn't do for Prompto. He'd give his life for his best friend, for Ignis and Gladio, too. So, if the shoes were on the other foot and he'd heard Prompto shout in the middle of the night, he would have immediately left his own room to be by his side. The nightmares have been bad for a while, now, but this has to be the worst one yet... And just having Prompto next to him has helped him calm down a bit.

His shoulders are still drawn up, muscles tight with tension and stress, but he tries to relax as much as his body will let him... Which isn't much. He thinks the tears have stopped flowing, though, so at least there's that, but his hands are still trembling. He hates feeling this weak and powerless all because of a damn nightmare.

"I want you to stay with me... Bed's big enough for both of us."

"I know." He soothed before daring to rest his hand once again upon the back of Noct's head, even stroking the hair a little. Maybe Noct wasn't a kid, but this stuff had worked on him when he was a kid. The few times he remembered anyway.

"I'll stay if you want me to..." The bed was big enough, but it wasn't the same as sharing a sleeping bag in a tent. Wasn't it weird? Nah, he supposed not. Noct was his bestfriend and if he hadn't suggested it Prompto probably would have tried to insist on doing it. Or at least staying in the room until his friend had fallen asleep. "I'm not leavin you alone like this."

It's hard, being so vulnerable when he's used to being so strong. Sure, he's had moments like this before, but never anything bad enough to result in him waking up with a shout. He can still recall nearly every second of it and he doesn't think that will be fading from his memory any time soon. It felt so real, like events he had already experienced.

Noctis wraps his arms around Prompto, pulling him closer, trying to hide the fact that the tears hadn't stopped flowing like he thought.

"I saw Bahamut... He spoke to me but I couldn't understand what he said." Noctis pulls away from Prompto, looking him in the face, "I saw Ardyn sitting on the throne in the Citadel."

He doesn't even want to think about the nightmare, but he feels like it's best to tell Prompto what he saw. Prompto deserves to know, especially if this is something their future holds, which Noctis can't shake the feeling that it is.

Prompto lets himself be pulled into a tighter embrace and gives Noct a squeeze right back. He held his friend as close as he dared, as close as he was able to get without just climbing into his lap or onto him at least. But then Noct started talking again, and when he pulled away, all Prompto could focus on were the tears. Each one was like a blade cutting into his soul. He hated that a dream had this much sway over his friend and had caused him so much pain.

"That seat isn't his. You have that dream again? You kick that shady bastard right off of it." Prompto didn't often swear, but if there was one man who could make him do it, it was Ardyn Izunia. Especially since the man wasn't even here but was still upsetting his friend.

Prompto sighed and pulled a hand around and lifted it to wipe at Noct's cheeks, brushing away tears... until he gently cupped his friends cheek and leaned in to kiss the tears away from the other. "He can't get you here. It was just a dream, Noct. You're safe. Don't let him hurt you here."

Anything Noctis wanted to say left his mind completely when Prompto kissed his tears away. That is probably the very last thing he would've expected from his best friend, but he isn't mad about it. Quite the opposite, actually. It just makes him want to pull his best friend into his arms and kiss him like he's thought about doing the last month, ever since their ride on Prompto's chocobo. Prompto's touch is so tender, the kisses on his cheeks so soft.

It takes Noctis's mind off of the nightmare he just woke up from, away from thoughts of Bahamut and of Ardyn sitting on his throne. He's thankful for the distraction, for his best friend by his side, because he's not sure how he'd be handling things were he alone with his thoughts. The only thing that matters right now is Prompto sitting in front of Noctis on his bed, leaving his own room to immediately be by his side, kissing his tears away... Not Ardyn, not Bahamut, not the feeling that Noctis can't seem to shake about this having been more than just a bad dream.

"Prompto..." he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, he makes the decision to just go for it, because if he doesn't do it now, he doesn't know when he'll find the courage to do it again. It will be okay, he tells himself, it won't damage their friendship. There's no way it could, right? Especially considering Prompto just cupped his cheek and kissed his tears away...

Noctis lifts a hand to Prompto's cheek, sliding his hand around to the back of his head, and pulls him into a soft kiss.

Distraction had been the aim, really. Something to chase those tears away and reassure Noct more than simple words ever could. The kisses didn't have to be anything, friends could do this, they could hug and give kisses to cheeks and tops of heads so why couldn't he? It didn't have to mean anything.

Except it did.

Prompto was madly in love with his bestfriend and had been for longer than he cared to admit and seeing him brought to tears was a pain like no other. He didn't know what to do. Had no idea how to fix something like a nightmare. This was all he had. All he could offer. His love in the simplest of ways. Tender kisses to wipe away tears.

In no way did he expect his affection to be returned. It wasn't needed, Noct didn't owe him a thing. But when he felt a hand reach for his own cheek, Prompto's eyes fell closed and without meaning to he found himself leaning into the touch. Just a little. Just before the hand kept on moving... and just before Noct upped the ante. The return wasn't a kiss to his own cheek but a kiss to his lips that sent a jolt through Prompto, a jolt that opened his eyes to look at his bestfriend in pure surprise.

Nocts lips were so soft...

When his kiss isn't returned, when there's no movement from Prompto, Noctis immediately stops and pulls his hand back. His cheeks are burning and he can't even look at Prompto, whose eyes are wide open and staring at him, because he's certain he fucked up. Prompto had been doing nothing more than comforting him after his horrible nightmare, and he had to go and kiss him.

"I'm--" he starts, pulling away from Prompto slightly to get a few inches between them. "You came in here to comfort me due to my nightmare."

And that's the only reason Prompto came in here. He woke with a shout which alarmed Prompto, tears streaming down his face and for some unknown reason... Noctis decides that this is the perfect time to kiss his best friend. He says a quick, silent prayer to the Six that he hasn't just fucked things up beyond repair, thinking maybe he'd rather be dealing with his nightmare by himself than dealing with this situation.

"I shouldn't have done that."

The kiss was so sweet and so gentle and Prompto's brain had completely short circuited!

His kiss had been friendly at best! But a kiss to the lips? There was no mistaking the intent behind that. And the fact that Noct had been the one to do it was mind bending. Weren't they friends? Didn't Noct think of him as just a friend? Prompto knew now that he liked guys too... but there was no way he could like him, right? Right...?

Prompto wasn't so sure now... But all too soon the kiss was over and Noct... Noct was puling away. And Prompto did what Prompto did best.

He panicked.

"No!" He launched himself forward, knocking Noct backwards onto the bed. He threw his arms about his friends neck and clung. "Don't say that! Don't regret it!" Prompto really wasn't above begging if the situation called for it. And to him it truly did. "I was just surprised is all, I liked it! I like you, Noct!"

Before he can even register what's happening, Noctis is knocked flat on his back against his pillow, Prompto's arms wrapped around his neck. He hesitates for a moment before reaching up and wrapping his own arms around Prompto, hands settling at the small of his back. And he feels like he's meant to be there, Noctis thinks, like that's exactly where Prompto belongs. He closes his eyes and just lays there like this, his best friend warm in his arms, taking his mind so far away from the nightmare he had.

Prompto said he was surprised, that he liked him, and that's even more difficult for Noctis to wrap his mind around than what he experienced in his nightmare, seeing Bahamut and Ardyn. He chooses to focus on the former, though, as it's much easier to deal with his best friend in his arms than thoughts of what he feels is a glimpse of his future on Eos. He just... doesn't know how to respond to Prompto.

Noctis pushes Prompto up a bit so he can see his face, "I like you, too. I have for a while." It sounds ridiculous coming out of his own mouth, like something one would expect to hear from a kid still in school. "I'm... going to kiss you again."

And that's exactly what he does. He pulls a hand up to the back of Prompto's head, pulling him in for another soft kiss, this one lasting a little longer than the first.

Prompto had taken a gamble and it had paid off! He had to assume there was a reason behind Noct kissing him, mutual liking had to be that reason! And thank the Six it was. He could have laughed. Might have laughed if Noct hadn't chosen that moment to threaten him.

He grinned and didn't need to be pulled far, he was already eagerly leaning in to cover Noct's lips with his own. The kiss was just as soft, but now Prompto was invested. He kissed back, made a soft and happy sound as he brought his arms back and his hands up to gently cup Noct's face between his palms.

The kiss was amazing. It was sweet and beautiful and everything he'd ever dreamed it would be. And as soon as Prompto broke the kiss to catch his breath, he was immediately leaning back in for another, and another, soon laughing between kisses. "You like me... You kissed me!"

Prompto's laugh, his kiss after kiss, it was all completely overwhelming to Noctis in the best possible way. He can't help but laugh along with him, his smile finally breaking through the upset left by his nightmare with every kiss Prompto places on his lips.

"Yeah, I did," he says with a quiet laugh. "I've wanted to do that for a long time, just never had the opportunity until now."

Hell, it wasn't until recently that Noctis found out Prompto was also into guys. When Prompto forced his way into Noctis's room, this was the very last thing he thought would happen, though. He figured it would be like any other nightmare, Prompto curling up next to him and grounding him in the present, calming him down until he's able to go back to sleep... But this turned in to so much more.

He pulls him in for another kiss, this one lasting a little longer than the others, with one hand still resting on the small of Prompto's back while the other finds itself on the back of his head, fingers threaded through his hair. Noctis can barely believe he's laying here kissing his best friend, that this isn't some bizarre dream.

The next kiss has Prompto groaning, his lips parting for them to deepen it further.

He'd shifted atop of Noct, pulling his knees up so that he was straddling his waist now, but still bent and laying chest-to-chest with his friend. Prompto didn't want to lose that contact. Didn't want the hand on his back to go away nor the hand within his hair. But he wanted to be able to use his own.

He kissed Noct and let his hands wander over his shoulders and collarbone. Then he raised them, the tips of his fingers grazing the sides of Noct's neck and up to softly stroke his jaw. His touch was soft, tender and reverent. Noct was so precious to him. His bestfriend. The one person in his life he knew he could rely on without question. The one he was willing to stand by through thick and thin. The man he had loved since the day he'd met him. And here he was, under him, hands on his body and lips upon his, kissing like a couple of horny teens. And Prompto was loving every moment of it!

Noctis wasn't prepared for the way Prompto's groan would affect him. It has to be one of the best things he's ever heard come from his best friend's mouth, and he wants nothing more than to hear it again. Any thoughts of Bahamut and of Ardyn have been completely pushed from Noctis's mind for the time being, his attention focused solely on the other man now sitting on top of him, their chests pressed together, skin on skin. As Prompto's lips part, Noctis takes this opportunity to run his tongue along his bottom lip, pushing it past those red and kiss-swollen lips as he pulls him as close as possible.

His hands slide up and down Prompto's back, tracing every dip, every muscle, committing every scar to memory. He doesn't think he's ever really gotten a good look at Prompto like this, the other man usually choosing to get dressed without anybody else present to see him. He wants to know every inch of Prompto's body, even the parts he doesn't like, the parts that he doesn't want anybody else seeing.

"Prompto..." he breathes, breaking their kiss to take a breath with less than an inch of space between them.

He reaches up, fingers finding their way back into Prompto's hair, to pull him back into another kiss. This time, Noctis is nipping at his bottom lip before sweeping his tongue along it and pressing it in to deepen the kiss once again.

He decided there and then that he really liked the way that Noct said his name. Always had, really. The fact that Noct was his best friend and called to him at all was a point of pride and joy to Prompto. While it was true that he'd never treated Noct like a Prince or was concerned by that fact, he wasn't dumb enough to dismiss it entirely. He knew what being a Prince meant. And he knew just how hard it was for Noct to make, or even want, friends because of it. So the fact that Noct had let him in at all was a miracle in itself!

And now he had the prince's tongue in his mouth.

Of all the crazy things that had happened in his life so far this had to have been one of the craziest. And one of the best. A moment that would be etched into his memories for years to come. Every touch. Every breath. Every sound. Prompto would remember it all.

After Noct said his name, Prompto melted and was easy to draw back into the kiss. The nip surprised a gasp from him, that once more parted his lips enough for Noct to gain entry. This time Prompto moaned. It was soft and it was muffled into the kiss, swallowed up by his bestie. Prompto didn't even realise he was doing it.

Knowing he needs to dial it back a bit lest he get too turned on and actually dialing it back a bit are two very different things… Especially when Prompto moans into his kiss as he slips his tongue past his lips. The soft moan does something to Noctis, makes him wish he could hear Prompto sound like this every day for the rest of his life because making Prompto feel this good, this loved, makes Noctis feel good. He still can’t believe this is happening; Prompto sitting on top of him, softly moaning while they kiss just doesn’t seem real.

This was supposed to be nothing more than Prompto helping Noctis calm down after his nightmare, but it turned into so much more. The nightmare is still sitting in the back of his mind, threatening to push back into the forefront, to take the joy from him and rip his best friend from his arms. And Noctis knows they need to talk about it, that he can’t just brush this under the rug this time.

Plus, if they keep things up, they’ll be having another conversation which Noctis isn’t quite ready for. Nothing like telling your best friend that his soft moans he made while kissing have made you unbelievably hard.

Noctis finally breaks their kiss, reaching up to brush some hair from Prompto’s face. “I need to tell you about what I saw,” he says. “Before I forget the details”

He knows he’s not going to forget the details, that this seemed like far more than just a nightmare… But he’ll get to that later. For now, he just wants Prompto to curl up beside him while he talks about Bahamut, about his dad and Luna, about Ardyn.

Too late. Prompto knew that his body was reacting to Noct's touch and he just couldn't help himself. The kiss was too incredible. What if they stopped and Noct never wanted to do it again? All Prompto wanted was to stay lost in that moment...

But it wasn't about what he wanted. He'd come to Noct's bedroom for a reason and that reason hadn't gone away just because he'd kissed the guy. Now it was back with a vengeance. Noct had broken the kiss, leaving Prompto breathless and dazed and struggling to get his head back in the game. How Noct thought he could possibly concentrate on anything else, he didn't know. His friend overestimated his abilities.

"Uh... yeah, yeah sure, buddy. Whatever you say." And with those words, Prompto made himself pull away. Carefully he moved off of his friend and sat on the bed near him with his legs crossed. Both hands raised to comb his fingers through his hair, pushing it back and away from his still slightly pink face.

This was better. Distance was good. "Go ahead. What's up?"

When Noctis broke their kiss, suggesting they talk about his nightmare before continuing any further, he didn't think Prompto was going to pull himself away and sit a foot from him on the bed like that. And that is not going to fly as far as Noctis is concerned, he doesn't really want distance between them... not that much, at least.

"Mmm, no, come here first," he says, reaching up to drag Prompto back down on to the bed, settling with his left arm wrapped around him. After a brief moment of hesitation, Noctis places a single kiss on Prompto's forehead. "Just because I want to talk about my nightmare doesn't mean I want you to sit on the other side of the bed."

Noctis lays there for a few minutes, silent, with Prompto in his arms. And he can't think of anywhere he'd rather be. He thinks over his nightmare, closing his eyes to picture exactly what he saw in crystal clear detail. It would be so easy to fall asleep like this, but he's not quite ready for that yet.

"You comfortable?" he asks. It should be obvious to Prompto that Noctis is putting off actually talking about the nightmare.

"Huh?" He asked intelligently. Prompto had thought he was doing the right thing! But Noct had other ideas and had grabbed him and pulled him right back down onto the bed beside him. It didn't take much effort to do it, Prompto didn't resist in the slightest. He just sighed and stretched himself out and, after a seconds thought, he lifted a hand and curled it upon Noct's chest.

"I thought it'd be better." Prompto said once they were settled comfortably. "Y'know, remove temptation and stuff?" A smile curved his lips when his forehead was kissed and he just shut up. He was wrong, he could admit that now and that was fine.

So he lay beside Noct contentedly for a while until Noct spoke again. "Mmhm yeah, real comfy... if you don't tell me what ya wanna talk about I'm gunna fall asleep, Noct. So what's bothering you? Ardyn wasn't wearing chocobo boxers or something, was he? Because that's creepy. You're gonna have to bleach your throne when we get back."

Prompto's comment brings a smile to Noctis's face, "I think I'd have rather seen Ardyn sitting on my throne wearing chocobo boxers."

And, as ridiculous as that sounds, he means it. Something silly, anything but what he actually saw would have been preferable. He doesn't know exactly how he's going to describe everything to Prompto, and he doesn't know what Prompto's reaction to it all will be, but he thinks he's finally ready to start talking. Plus, Noctis knows he has to start talking, otherwise they're both going to fall asleep.

"It started out like most of my nightmares do," he starts. "I was falling, conjured my blade, and thrust it into a wall to stop myself from falling. Most of the time I'm somewhere I'm familiar with, like Insomnia or Tenebrae... But this time, I was nowhere. It was all brilliant blues and purples, just nothingness. And I was just floating, there was nowhere for me to stand, no ground, nothing like that."

Noctis pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I head a voice, it was so deep, and I could tell it was non-human. I couldn't understand what it was saying to me, but I turned around and was face to face with Bahamut."

Edited 2022-06-10 01:48 (UTC)

Prompto doesn't make anymore jokes then. No more teasing comments. He just falls quiet so that Noct can gather his thoughts and, eventually, tell him what was bothering him.

And when it came, Prompto just looked... puzzled. Noct had dreams like that often? That wasn't normal, right? He couldn't say that but he was sure thinking it. It sounded like such a strange dream. To be floating in a sea of colour with no up or down or ground for your feet? Kind of creepy. And it only got creepier.

"Bahamut? THE Bahamut? Was talking to you? In your dream? H-how?" They were away from Eos weren't they? None of that could get them there could they? Prompto had thought they would be safe!

"Yeah, the Bahamut. The only one of the Six, not including the Infernian, that I couldn't call upon. But he was in my nightmare, talking to me... I just couldn't make out what he was saying."

Noctis doesn't want to know what Bahamut was saying to him, but something deep inside tells him that he'll find out eventually. He has a feeling that there's more to this nightmare that he didn't see, that this was just part of a full story that just hasn't been revealed to him yet. It's an awful, sinking feeling that he can't shake. Even with Prompto sitting on him, kissing him, laying curled up in his arms, that feeling just wouldn't go away.

"I started falling again after that," he continues after a few silent seconds. "I couldn't catch myself this time and hit the floor of the Citadel, right in front of the stairs leading to the throne."

And this is where it gets difficult, the part that makes Noctis stop and squeeze his eyes shut. He finds himself taking several deep breaths, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't stop his tears from falling again, rolling slowly down his face. He reaches up to wipe his cheeks, pulling his right hand away from where it had been resting on top of Prompto's hand curled on his chest.

Prompto really hated seeing Noct crying, for any reason. Maybe happy tears weren't so bad. But these ones? These were the worst. They made his heart ache for his friend. He shifted and leaned up so that he could, once again, press a kiss to Noct's cheek and kiss away those tears. In the same move he curled his arm around Noct a little more, holding him close, as protectively as he was able.

"Its alright, Noct. It's just a dream, it can't hurt you." He reassured in a low, gentle tone. Prompto just wished he believed what he was saying. Could dreams hurt them in this world? Something was clearly causing his friend pain and he just didn't know what to do to help. Other than hold him.

How can Noctis possibly explain the feeling he has that what he saw wasn't just a dream? It sounds ridiculous, but he can't shake the feeling that horrors he saw are something from his future. It felt far too real to have just been a dream... but he decides to keep that to himself for the time being. Prompto doesn't need to know about that, doesn't need that weight on his shoulders, too.

His left arm curls tighter around Prompto, leaving not even an inch of space between them. His presence and the gentle kisses to his cheeks help Noctis calm down enough to keep talking. His eyes remain closed as he pictures the rest of the nightmare in crystal clear detail.

"The throne room was wrecked, one of the walls reduced to nothing more than a pile of rubble covering one of the staircases." He pauses, takes a deep breath, "Ardyn was sitting there with a shit eating grin on his face, but that's not even the worst part."

Noctis doesn't know if the bodies he saw were their actual bodies that Ardyn had somehow procured or if they were yet another illusion created by the man to hurt him at his core, much like the illusions of Prompto he saw while he was desperately searching for his best friend.

"The worst..." he starts, pausing again to swallow tears back. "Was the bodies hanging from the ceiling, all of them strung up in chains. I saw my father's battered body, dried blood where his eyes should have been. I saw Luna, her dress torn and bloodstained, and Nyx. And I saw Iedolas Aldercapt."

His arm wraps around Noct, clinging to his side and just lets his head drop down onto his friends shoulder. The dream hadn't finished though, there was more to it and Noct kept on talking until Prompto eventually started to run his hand up and down Noct's arm.

Though when Noct got the worst part... Prompto actually frowned.

"I... that's creepy, but I get your dad and Luna... But why would he have the others there?" Why Nyx? And why the hell that old Aldercapt guy? What reason would those two be there, he didn't think either had much of a connection to Noct. At least not a connection that would cause him pain. The other two would have hurt him... "That's a sucky dream. I think we're gonna have to stop eatin weird stuff before bed."

“Nyx used the Ring of Lucii. His arm and the side of his face looked like it was made of crystal, the damage done to anybody who wears the ring who isn’t worthy,” he says softly. “I guess maybe a warning.”

He doesn’t quite understand why Nyx Ulric was in his dream, but there’s no mistaking that face, that hair, the Kingsglaive uniform. And Noctis knows the damage the Ring of Lucii can do to somebody who isn’t deemed worthy, who isn’t a king in the line of Lucis. It’s such a heavy burden to bear, he thinks, lifting his right arm up to look at the ring on his hand before resting it atop Prompto’s hand once more.

“I don’t know that watching what we eat is going to keep these nightmares from invading my subconscious and disrupting my sleep.”

Nightmares? Visions. Something more than just a nightmare, he thinks, still not ready to tell Prompto that detail.

Adjusting himself a bit, Noctis presses a kid to the top of Prompto’s head. He likes this, it feels right, but he wishes that Prompto had found himself in his bed under different circumstances.

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