Xufeng | Fire Immortal (
firefalling) wrote in
jikan_rpg2022-10-09 01:53 am
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Entry tags:
Open!
⌛ Who: Xufeng, open to Four Seasons Manor
⌛ What: Flailing over sudden canon update!
⌛ When: October 9thish
⌛ Where: Four Seasons Manor
⌛ Warnings: TRAUMA and BLOOD and brother talks andandand anything else will be added to thread headers
Early Morning
Dreams seem to plague Xufeng this night. He can't say if they're memories, caused by growing close to Jinmi or...something else entirely. He simply doesn't know.
Only that he jerks upright when he wakes, gasping for breath before pitching over to the side to spit out blood as suddenly his entire body seems to ache. Unpleasantly so until it ebbs into a dull pain that won't stop. So he shoves himself to his feet, pausing to stare at his own wings before shaking himself and stumbling out to the gardens of the Manor.
He absently wipes at the blood at his mouth before taking a seat beside the pool the lord of the manor has here. Memories seep in and he presses his eyes firmly shut as he focuses on everything he can figure out. He rests his head against a hand, rubbing at the ache to it.
Later
Not a joke, or a deception. He's had enough time to figure that much out. But to put it all together with what he's experienced here? That is taking longer, and the headache hasn't really eased. He's just stubbornly decided to ignore it. Only those who really know him would see the slight hints of discomfort. How his wings occasionally twitch for apparently no reason. How his temper is a little sharper than usual. How he's even quieter than before.
How much time he actually spends by the pond, rather than his rooms or the training yard.
How he feels older, and a little weaker, to those with that sense of his energies. More weary, but also, at the same time happier.
⌛ What: Flailing over sudden canon update!
⌛ When: October 9thish
⌛ Where: Four Seasons Manor
⌛ Warnings: TRAUMA and BLOOD and brother talks andandand anything else will be added to thread headers
Early Morning
Dreams seem to plague Xufeng this night. He can't say if they're memories, caused by growing close to Jinmi or...something else entirely. He simply doesn't know.
Only that he jerks upright when he wakes, gasping for breath before pitching over to the side to spit out blood as suddenly his entire body seems to ache. Unpleasantly so until it ebbs into a dull pain that won't stop. So he shoves himself to his feet, pausing to stare at his own wings before shaking himself and stumbling out to the gardens of the Manor.
He absently wipes at the blood at his mouth before taking a seat beside the pool the lord of the manor has here. Memories seep in and he presses his eyes firmly shut as he focuses on everything he can figure out. He rests his head against a hand, rubbing at the ache to it.
Later
Not a joke, or a deception. He's had enough time to figure that much out. But to put it all together with what he's experienced here? That is taking longer, and the headache hasn't really eased. He's just stubbornly decided to ignore it. Only those who really know him would see the slight hints of discomfort. How his wings occasionally twitch for apparently no reason. How his temper is a little sharper than usual. How he's even quieter than before.
How much time he actually spends by the pond, rather than his rooms or the training yard.
How he feels older, and a little weaker, to those with that sense of his energies. More weary, but also, at the same time happier.
Early Morning
Only... He's not a stranger. When she gets a good look at him, she hurries towards him without thinking, her worry overwhelming any strangeness.
"Phoenix? Are you sick?"
Is that...blood? Now she really feels unsettled! Was he attacked?
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Xufeng only notices he's not alone in moving outside when her voice calls him. It's both a balm to his soul, and tears it up. The memories are too fresh, though they're catching up.
He struggles for a smile for her, hand over his lips as he finishes wiping up the last of the blood, and shakes his head, though his gaze falls away.
"I'm fine," he murmurs. "I'm sorry if I...woke you." Yes. It's right that he had.
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"You're a bad liar."
She's worse.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
She thinks not considering his blood is very real. With a small smile, she adds:
"Was it a pigeon? I told you they were scary."
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Her accusation drags a startled laugh from him and he grins down at the ground. Then she makes it worse! And knows it! That smile gives her away and he reaches up to brush a hand over her hair with a broader smile than he'd managed a moment ago.
"I'm alright, Jinmi. Yes. The pigeon army was very scary." He can't help chuckling at his obvious lie.
Tugging her hand up, he rests his cheek against it.
"They tried to take you away from me," he makes that up too. Just to hear her laugh and scold him again. To watch her face light up.
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This is the first time she has been scared that he might not. That fear combined with her growing feelings for him makes it easy for her to touch him and seek his laughter. Whatever happened, it's okay because...well...
She's here. Fish Fairy is here too. Xufeng will be safe.
"They try to knock over my plants." and poop on her shelves. The fiends!
His cheek is so warm under her hand and she shakes her head, smiling for his sake.
"They can't take me anywhere. I'm too big!"
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But now he knows he has to cherish every moment with her.
Xufeng wipes his bloodied hand off before taking her other hand and resting his face against both, warming them with his breath. She'd returned that heat to him.
He grins at her going along with his silly story and wills himself to set aside all of the new memories to puzzle over later. When he won't scare her so badly.
"I'll put up a ward to keep them out of our room so they can't hurt your plants, alright? And if they try to take you away..."
Well. He has to hint that he remembers something, doesn't he?
"Do you have the hairpin I gave you?"
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She likes his smile. That's why she goes along with his silly story. Nightmares can be difficult to talk about and it will do him good to laugh, won't it?
Her hands feel warm and she scoots closer to him as if he is a merry, crackling fire.
"Phoenix, don't be sad. Whatever you saw, it's okay." she perks up and pulls said hairpin out of her pocket, "This one?"
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Xufeng remembers turning her into things to make her practice her power. Looking back...he really can't regret doing so. Not when she'd made it clear she was protesting just because it made him smile.
And now she lets him tease her with a silly story. He knows he doesn't deserve her and yet...she loves him, and doesn't realize it.
"How can I be sad when you're being silly?" He teases her, letting her warmth chase away the shadows. He's missed this carefree part of her. Oh, he gets glimpses of it still. But not like this.
He nods, relieved to see it. "Always keep it with you. It'll keep you safe." Things he hadn't told her before. "Even if I'm not with you, it will keep you safe. Nothing will be able to carry you away if it means to harm you."
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Phoenix has always been good to her. Even when she was a silly fairy, pulling him into a foot bath and holding him under, he had forgiven her. She is very fond of Xufeng - aside from her attraction to him. He is a good immortal and he deserves happiness.
"Only if I gave you a headache." she then adds swiftly, "But I have a remedy for that now!"
Why does she tell him that? Maybe she wants his praise for the small feats she has managed.
The hairpin is always with her - either in her hair or in a pocket. She often takes it out to admire it.
"Really?" she blinks at the feather design and caresses it with her thumb, "If the pigeon army is after you, maybe you should keep it."
Oh she tries to keep a straight face after saying that. She tries.
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Xufeng raises a brow at the claim, feigning disbelief. "Do you? Show me," as if he doubts her skill or her power.
He's glad to see her keep his feather close. He reaches out to stroke fingertips along it as well, as if greeting an old friend. Only to shake his head with another helpless little chuckle.
"I don't need it. You are more afraid of them than I am. Besides. It's rude to give gifts back."
A stab to his own heart. He'd tried to give her petal back.
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"You mix this little one in with a cup of hot tea." she hesitates and feels his cheek, "Something you could use right now? Does your head hurt?"
The little feather is her favorite hairpin, but she is careful with it. Since he gave it to her as a gift, she needs to give him something - besides a headache - in return! Tapping his lips with the hairpin, she makes a promise to herself to look for the perfect gift.
"I didn't say I wanted to give it back. But I also don't want you waking up so early like this."
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Xufeng leans a little into her gentle hand, gaze dropping only briefly before lifting back to her face, and he nods a little.
"Tea would be good."
He raises a brow as the feather is tapped against his lips, and he has to wonder what she's thinking. Maybe about giving it back still? No. She reassures him of that quickly.
"Waking early a few days won't hurt me, Mi'er. But I'll go to bed early tonight if it eases your mind."
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"Here, Phoenix." she lifts the cup to his lips after blowing on it, "Going to bed early would be good for you. If you like, I can tell you a story beforehand? Then your dreams will be good."
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She even makes sure his tea isn't too hot. Xufeng doesn't look at the cup or the liquid, only her sweet eyes as he obediently sips. Her offer to even tell him a story before bed makes him smile.
"What story would you tell me?"
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As he sips the brew, she tilts her head thoughtfully.
"I can tell you about the carrot and the flower!"
Later
At least here it was easier to forge that again. He certainly wanted to try if nothing else.
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Jinmi's tea and the herb she'd grown for him has helped his headache though. Eventually he sighs and opens his eyes to glance at Runyu. For a brief moment he'd wondered if he'd feel a return of that hatred, of the feeling of deep betrayal.
No.
"Ge," he murmurs in greeting. To start.
One way to continue, to make it clear he knows... is to mention remembering his son. But would that be cruel?
Breath huffs out and he shakes his head, hanging it for a moment.
"When you first arrived, did you remember everything? Or did it take a while for the worst of it to come back to you?"
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There's something of a relief that comes from knowing that Xufeng knows more. That he's not alone.
That they can really repair what was broken.
"I've known everything since I arrived here over a year ago." And he'd been alone in that all that time until right that moment.
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He thinks he sees a flicker of relief in Runyu's posture. He can understand it too. They have a chance here, and he means to take it.
He nods and looks back out over the water.
"The Yun Elixir," he made a promise, after all. And it really is important. "You repaired it before. Will you help me free Jinmi of it?"
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"I can't. What freed her, and I know you don't realize this, was her killing you. Her heart breaking because of her love for you."
There was nothing that he could do for that. He hadn't been able to free her from it. Her own feelings for Xufeng had been what did it. Even with all his manipulations he hadn't anticipated his brother dying in such a way.
In the end, he had no power over the Elixir.
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"No. I won't make her go through that again." Not unless she also comes to remember the rest.
So be it. He'll find another way to help ease her pain without denying them what they both want.
"At least she is happy here."
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Runyu sighed softly as he recalled the scroll that he had read. He highly doubt that Xufeng had ever had the chance to read it too. There had been so many things he'd discovered on his own that he hadn't shared with his brother at the time.
"Either she'll remember like you did or she'll be able to break it herself. There's nothing we can do."
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And he'd doubted her love before. What an idiot he'd been! He has to breathe before pushing that aside to focus.
"What else can you tell me about it?"
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But the Flower Immortal never could have anticipated that there was no way to safe Jinmi from Fate. That if they hid her away in the Flower Realm then Fate would align to send Xufeng there instead. It was completely unavoidable.
"I don't know how Fate works here since we are cut off from the Realms here. She might be free to love without pain if she can free herself from the Elixir. I truly don't know more."
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Finally Xufeng nods. "I'm glad we're cut off from the Realms." He looks squarely at his brother.
"It's given you the chance you never had," to be himself. To learn he really can be loved for who he is.
"And now you're not alone."
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"I know how you felt when you spent hundreds of years waiting for her. One day I will have to go back but I know that I would spend thousands of years looking across all the realms to find them again."
He truly loved them that much. And he knew that his brother would understand how deep that ran.
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"I should finally meet them." He has the thought to offer to help search, simply because of how big his brother's task will be in finding his loves again.
His brother should be happy. Yes, Runyu had done a great deal of evil. But Xufeng isn't completely blameless either.
But he also understands the need to search on his own.
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The three of them had shared those rooms together for months now. His brother's rooms were even rather close to his own. Maybe circumstances just hadn't aligned properly for whatever reason. It wasn't clear to him and he knew he probably wasn't meant to understand it fully.
"It will be easy to know it's them. As you know, they both have one of my scales. And they both wear them every day."
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He hasn't purposely avoided them so much as he's kept mostly to himself in general.
"Good." He means it, and a smile just helps to show it. He's glad the two his brother has chosen to give scales to, value him and them enough to wear them.
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Utter torture really. But he didn't want to elaborate on that. He wasn't here to make Xufeng feel bad about something that hadn't been in his control. He didn't fault him for the magics of this place at all.
"They'll warm up to you. I promise. They just need to know you mean me no harm. That we're...working on things. Together."
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Instead he nods and a smile does manage to settle easier on his lips. "They are important to you, as you are to them. It is good they are protective of you. I will not harm them."
He can guess how hard it's been, having to hold so much in. A breath huffs out, more amused now. "They'll see. I won't harm you either." He already knows Runyu won't hurt him, even now that he remembers it all.
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Instead he nods and a smile does manage to settle easier on his lips. "They are important to you, as you are to them. It is good they are protective of you. I will not harm them."
He can guess how hard it's been, having to hold so much in. A breath huffs out, more amused now. "They'll see. I won't harm you either." He already knows Runyu won't hurt him, even now that he remembers it all.
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Xufeng probably would have suited the throne better too. Not for the reasons that the Empress had implied but just for who he was at his core. Runyu didn't bring that up though because none of that mattered anymore when his brother would never take the throne no matter who begged it of him.
"...I'm honestly grateful you're here, Xufeng. Truly I am."
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"You're trying to do better now," he says instead, after a long moment. And they both know he had no interest in being the Heavenly Emperor. He'd always hoped Runyu would take that place, and not just because of being their father's first born.
Those last words sink in and it feels right to unbend and lean in to embrace his brother.
"I am too, Runyu."
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He'd needed this so badly. There were no words to describe how badly he'd needed this moment with his brother.
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No weapons. No angry words. Just cautious hope that their bond can somehow recover despite everything.
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Then he went still, just letting himself take in the moment. "I've missed you. So much," he whispered finally.
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Even when he feels Runyu go still, he doesn't let go. His hold is loose enough that his brother can simply pull away when he's ready. Until then? They both need this. His eyes squeeze closed at the quiet words and he lets go of what lingering pain he can. But really, he'd been angrier with himself than Runyu.
"I'm here."
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Finally he was able to pull back, fingers cleaning his face since he was sure he was a mess.
"I'm here too, Xufeng."
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The smile he manages now is more relaxed at the answer.
"I am glad to have my brother here."
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He gave a soft laugh but let Xufeng tend to him. It was like years ago when his brother would be so quick to offer him healing. Something he always appreciated. He missed those days and it was nice to have a taste of it again.
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It's a weight off his shoulders. A nice memory and a thought they really can reclaim some of what they'd once had with each other. Support.
Speaking of memories, Xufeng suddenly chuckles again. "And I'll still peck at anyone who looks at you wrong."
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But wasn't that something he'd always loved about him? How silly he was? He knew he very much appreciated it now as they spoke and Xufeng finished cleaning his face off. He certainly was noticing the care taken with his scales and he was grateful for it.
"I'm not ready tonight. But please come to me soon so I can tell you about my mother and what happened with her. I really feel you should finally know."
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The grin fades though and he studies Runyu thoughtfully. "I will listen." Because his brother wants to tell him. And he would like to know, too. He's only not pushed before because...mothers. And then everything else had spiraled horribly.
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But tonight he was content to just be with his brother again.