⌛ Who: Jiang Cheng, Anakinn Theerapanyakul and YOU ⌛ What: Anything and everything around the kingdoms ⌛ When: January ⌛ Where: Nippon! ⌛ Warnings: Will be listed in subject header as needed
Wanyin had really been through a lot. People always wanting him to be their image of him rather than accepting him for who he was. It was a feeling that made his heart ache for how much he understood it. So when it came to an end, Riley reached up with his other hand to gently cup the man's face and smiled softly before he looked out over the frozen water they'd been skating on.
"A lot of my origins I only found out recently but I was born to one of the two leaders of the Fae, the Unseelie Queen. Ashamed of having given birth to a sickly and dying child, she pretended to never have had me and swapped me with a human baby so I could die there instead. My parents were able to get me well again though and I lived a normal life. Even when my magic started developing at sixteen I didn't really think anything of it. Just a coincidence in the world around me."
He took a deep breath as he continued. "When I was eighteen the Fae realized that I hadn't died and they started to come after me. Even though they hadn't wanted me as a child suddenly they wanted to force me to be what they wanted, to pick one of the Courts to serve. To try to force my hand they've killed a lot of people that I love right in front of my eyes. The Unseelie Queen herself even came and hurt Will badly trying to get me. They've never cared that I don't want the life they're forcing on me, I don't want to be the person they're trying to force me to be."
But that was just in his world. There was more. So much more. "I was brought here before Will was and before I even knew that the Queen was my birth mother. Around that time I met P'Kinn and I got close to him quickly but I also met someone named Xie. Xie was brought here injured and I would visit him every day in the hospital and every day after he was out. We got really close and I definitely developed feelings for him. Well, eventually he went to live with someone from his world named Baiyi. I got to meet him too and I guess I was too modern for him and he apparently had feelings for Xie. He got upset and...left for days. Xie and I didn't know what to do but I confessed to him and Xie was interested in me too."
He paused there just to take a breath, wanting to get through this without getting upset. But it was definitely painful for him.
Cheng listened. And the more he listened, the more he was convinced that this place was terrible. He knew of Xie and met Baiyi once-briefly. Neither of them made lasting impressions on his person but to hear that someone had been mean to the Fae here was almost infuriating.
Almost as infuriating as listening to how his mother threw him away and then demanded him back. They really weren't too different from each other, were they?
As Riley took a break, Cheng offered a tiny smile and threaded his fingers in with Riley's. When it looked like the Fae was ready, he gave a little nod of encouragement so he would continue.
"When he came back I explained my feelings and said it was okay if he wanted me to back off. As long as I could just be friends with Xie I was happy. But then he wanted me too for some reason. The three of us ended up together and for a bit it was really good. Until the dinner party where I had my first drink of alcohol for the first time."
Squeezing Wanyin's hand, he let himself draw strength from him. "Turns out Fae are weak to alcohol and I had no idea. I was a mess. You saw me at New Years. Everyone took such good care of me and P'Vegas even called my boyfriends to make sure I'd get home safe. Baiyi came and said I was being an embarrassment then harassed P'Vegas with invasive questions and when P'Vegas tried to leave he used a sort of...magical force to shove him back in the chair. P'Pete broke it up and Baiyi took me home. The next day he went and told me how I wasn't allowed to see others without him or Xie and that he didn't trust my friends. I asked him to trust me even if he couldn't trust them but he just told me he couldn't."
Swallowing, he pushed forward. "We didn't talk for weeks and I refused to stop seeing P'Kinn and the others because they're my family. Then suddenly he took Xie and I to a festival and pretended like nothing happened. When I confronted him, he shattered our bond. Luckily I had my family to take me in and I was okay and I still had Xie. Things were even great with Xie and he would come see me all the time. He protected me when I got cursed and was scared of everything. Then suddenly after one of those visits and sleeping with me he sent me a message out of nowhere and just...ended things. Said that only Baiyi could give him what he needed. Everything I've done for him didn't matter and that bond shattered too."
This time tears did fall but he didn't bother to stop them. Instead he just smiled over at Wanyin. "I had people to help me pull through the really bad times. But I know what it feels like to have people think they can control you and hurt you. I don't want to be anything more than me and free to do that. So if I can give you that too I'd really like to. I think you're very special, Wanyin. It means so much that you even just sit here holding my hand not to mention everything else you've let me have with you."
He said nothing as Riley spoke about those two. As much as he wanted to deny that his people could be like that-they knew better!-Cheng also knew that this story was no different than other stories of other people treating their partners so horribly. A small part of him wished he wasn't affiliated with that because of where he came from. Baiyi sounded like a cultivator with how he treated Vegas. And one who thought that with age came might-something Cheng believed in until he'd been knocked down several pegs.
The tears came and he pursed his lips together, reaching up with one hand to gently thumb them away. Yes, he understood what it was like to be used. He knew what it was like to have bonds shatter- and he'd rather have them than a qi deviation, personally. At the praise, his cheeks and ears pinkened and Cheng had to try not to be distracted.
"I wish I could say that the people from my time are not all like that but... that seems to be a common thing. Especially those who gain power and believe that might makes right." Oh, how he knew that was a devil's path! "It seems clear to me that this Baiyi has never had the burden of caring for people to ensure their health and safety beyond a passing lover, if that. And that this Xie...doesn't seem like he has had an independent thought of his own. That saddens me because it is something that is painfully common from my time-to be set in the roles you were given and never once consider a different one. All that they have done? It is not a reflection on you. How they treated you shows who they are as an individual and I understand the pain of loving the wrong person."
All too well. All painfully too well from his past life and this one now.
Cheng enfolds Riley's hands in his own again, swallowing. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I was...I was afraid of the same happening to me again. I don't want to be treated as I have in the past, nor do I want to continue a cycle that keeps it going to the next generation. What you and Will have is... special. And it should be cherished because I don't see it often. I'm glad you're better now," he continues with a rough voice, drawing Riley's hands to his forehead briefly. "And that Will allowed me to help support both of you, even if there was nothing that could be done to wake you. I don't want to become a Baiyi or Xie that gets in the way of your bond with him."
He has no idea how any of this works. And what he wants or would like to explore is nothing compared to people loving one another. He knows that he would never be the same to the Fae as they were to each other and he can't be jealous of that-after all, no one has acted like Cheng hung the stars for them-not unless they were coerced to say so. Not unless they were afraid of losing him to another. The realization that this was a true statement in several instances hurt his heart. He's tired of the walls he needed to maintain.
"I... don't know what you want from me. With all of this dating. I...don't know how to understand that people like you-from ages and ages into the future, have treated me better than the people who are from the same time and similar culture and customs as I. I like the concept and I want to learn more, but I don't want to hurt the both of you, either."
Does he love them? Not in that deeply, intimately romantic way. He doesn't know them well enough! But he likes them enough to know that if there was a rift, they'd choose each other. And, honestly, he expects that. He doesn't remember anyone really coming to stand by his side without wanting a favor, or remaining transient because someone else was more important than him.
Getting validation for his side of things felt good. He didn't expect anything but he got that. It was enough to make him smile again as he was thanked and he listened to the rest. Then he knew exactly what he needed to do. That knowledge felt really good.
Lifting his hands, he cupped the man's face. Gently. Warmly.
"You have had a lot of people in your life demand things of you or not tell you what they want. I'm Fae so that means I'm not capable of ever directly lying to you about anything. Know that so you can know everything I have to say next is completely true," he started.
"Will and I are very special to each other. It's why we're married now. But that doesn't mean you can't be special to us too. We picked you for you to be with us. It's okay if you mess up sometimes because you're new to this. We're never going to ask you to be perfect. Just. You."
He smiled a little more as his thumbs started to stroke those handsome cheeks. "I want to know you and for you to be in my life in what ever way makes you happy too. Just my friend? Or maybe as a lover? A boyfriend? More? As long as you can be happy then I will be too. I want you to be who you are and who you want to be. I want to learn about you and grow with you. I want you to come to find that we'll always pick you too just like we did when we asked you out on that date we had."
And now he was smiling brightly. "I want you. That is what I want. My only expectations of you are that I get to see you and know you want to see me too. Everything else? That's just stuff to make what we have more special and magical. As long as I get to have you in my life in any way then I have everything I well and truly want from you, Wanyin."
This was a lot to take in and he didn't know how to handle it. He could feel tears spilling over his cheeks at what Riley said. His hands reached up to cover Riley's hands. Much of it, his inner self balked. No one could be so truthful like that, could he? A small voice within goes, 'try. No one is asking more than that'.
"My birthname is Cheng. With my people, when you become an adult, you are given a courtesy name so that others who are not family or very close may address you. You and Will may call me Cheng."
He was going to do this. He might not succeed, but that was okay with them. They weren't going to hold it against him and that concept had his heart beating fast in his chest. He didn't want to let them down!
He leaned in, resting his forehead against Riley's. There was a peace here that he didn't want to disturb with any more words. A press of lips to a forehead? That's fine. But he couldn't say any more for fear of blubbering.
His eyes widened a little at the offered name. And then he smiled again, closing his eyes as the man leaned in closer to rest their heads together. Gently, he kept stroking his cheeks.
"The Fae always have a True Name where it can be dangerous if a human knows that name. Because it can give you power over us. I only like going by Riley but I want you to know it anyway. Llyr. That's my True Name. I want to give that to you as a gift so you can always remember that you're so special to me, Cheng," he murmured quietly to him, letting this be a moment just between them even though they were out where anyone could see them.
Llyr. It was foreign but no less foreign than Riley. He nodded, smiling softly. The touch was nice, Riley's words were--it was hard to remember that they were true, but that was something Cheng could work on.
"Do you want to keep skating?" He couldn't handle too much more of this and needed to do something else. The intimacy between them was welcomed, but they were public. Cheng needed to do something else before he forgot he was out in public.
Even though he didn't go by it and preferred the name that his parents had given him, he still loved that now Cheng got to know it too. Smiling at him, he nodded at the question. No more intense emotions. They could just go have fun together.
"Do you want to have hot chocolate with me when we're done?" Maybe a snack to go with it too.
Riley's smile grew and he leaned over to give Cheng a gentle kiss to the lips before he stood up. Holding out his hands to the man, the Fae gave a cute little tilt of his head. Running into Cheng like this? He was so grateful for it.
"Come here. Let's have fun together. From what you've told me you haven't had a lot of chances for that in your life. So I want to help you make up for lost time."
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jikan_rpg2023-01-01 04:39 pm
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"A lot of my origins I only found out recently but I was born to one of the two leaders of the Fae, the Unseelie Queen. Ashamed of having given birth to a sickly and dying child, she pretended to never have had me and swapped me with a human baby so I could die there instead. My parents were able to get me well again though and I lived a normal life. Even when my magic started developing at sixteen I didn't really think anything of it. Just a coincidence in the world around me."
He took a deep breath as he continued. "When I was eighteen the Fae realized that I hadn't died and they started to come after me. Even though they hadn't wanted me as a child suddenly they wanted to force me to be what they wanted, to pick one of the Courts to serve. To try to force my hand they've killed a lot of people that I love right in front of my eyes. The Unseelie Queen herself even came and hurt Will badly trying to get me. They've never cared that I don't want the life they're forcing on me, I don't want to be the person they're trying to force me to be."
But that was just in his world. There was more. So much more. "I was brought here before Will was and before I even knew that the Queen was my birth mother. Around that time I met P'Kinn and I got close to him quickly but I also met someone named Xie. Xie was brought here injured and I would visit him every day in the hospital and every day after he was out. We got really close and I definitely developed feelings for him. Well, eventually he went to live with someone from his world named Baiyi. I got to meet him too and I guess I was too modern for him and he apparently had feelings for Xie. He got upset and...left for days. Xie and I didn't know what to do but I confessed to him and Xie was interested in me too."
He paused there just to take a breath, wanting to get through this without getting upset. But it was definitely painful for him.
no subject
Almost as infuriating as listening to how his mother threw him away and then demanded him back. They really weren't too different from each other, were they?
As Riley took a break, Cheng offered a tiny smile and threaded his fingers in with Riley's. When it looked like the Fae was ready, he gave a little nod of encouragement so he would continue.
no subject
Squeezing Wanyin's hand, he let himself draw strength from him. "Turns out Fae are weak to alcohol and I had no idea. I was a mess. You saw me at New Years. Everyone took such good care of me and P'Vegas even called my boyfriends to make sure I'd get home safe. Baiyi came and said I was being an embarrassment then harassed P'Vegas with invasive questions and when P'Vegas tried to leave he used a sort of...magical force to shove him back in the chair. P'Pete broke it up and Baiyi took me home. The next day he went and told me how I wasn't allowed to see others without him or Xie and that he didn't trust my friends. I asked him to trust me even if he couldn't trust them but he just told me he couldn't."
Swallowing, he pushed forward. "We didn't talk for weeks and I refused to stop seeing P'Kinn and the others because they're my family. Then suddenly he took Xie and I to a festival and pretended like nothing happened. When I confronted him, he shattered our bond. Luckily I had my family to take me in and I was okay and I still had Xie. Things were even great with Xie and he would come see me all the time. He protected me when I got cursed and was scared of everything. Then suddenly after one of those visits and sleeping with me he sent me a message out of nowhere and just...ended things. Said that only Baiyi could give him what he needed. Everything I've done for him didn't matter and that bond shattered too."
This time tears did fall but he didn't bother to stop them. Instead he just smiled over at Wanyin. "I had people to help me pull through the really bad times. But I know what it feels like to have people think they can control you and hurt you. I don't want to be anything more than me and free to do that. So if I can give you that too I'd really like to. I think you're very special, Wanyin. It means so much that you even just sit here holding my hand not to mention everything else you've let me have with you."
no subject
The tears came and he pursed his lips together, reaching up with one hand to gently thumb them away. Yes, he understood what it was like to be used. He knew what it was like to have bonds shatter- and he'd rather have them than a qi deviation, personally. At the praise, his cheeks and ears pinkened and Cheng had to try not to be distracted.
"I wish I could say that the people from my time are not all like that but... that seems to be a common thing. Especially those who gain power and believe that might makes right." Oh, how he knew that was a devil's path! "It seems clear to me that this Baiyi has never had the burden of caring for people to ensure their health and safety beyond a passing lover, if that. And that this Xie...doesn't seem like he has had an independent thought of his own. That saddens me because it is something that is painfully common from my time-to be set in the roles you were given and never once consider a different one. All that they have done? It is not a reflection on you. How they treated you shows who they are as an individual and I understand the pain of loving the wrong person."
All too well. All painfully too well from his past life and this one now.
Cheng enfolds Riley's hands in his own again, swallowing. "Thank you for sharing this with me. I was...I was afraid of the same happening to me again. I don't want to be treated as I have in the past, nor do I want to continue a cycle that keeps it going to the next generation. What you and Will have is... special. And it should be cherished because I don't see it often. I'm glad you're better now," he continues with a rough voice, drawing Riley's hands to his forehead briefly. "And that Will allowed me to help support both of you, even if there was nothing that could be done to wake you. I don't want to become a Baiyi or Xie that gets in the way of your bond with him."
He has no idea how any of this works. And what he wants or would like to explore is nothing compared to people loving one another. He knows that he would never be the same to the Fae as they were to each other and he can't be jealous of that-after all, no one has acted like Cheng hung the stars for them-not unless they were coerced to say so. Not unless they were afraid of losing him to another. The realization that this was a true statement in several instances hurt his heart. He's tired of the walls he needed to maintain.
"I... don't know what you want from me. With all of this dating. I...don't know how to understand that people like you-from ages and ages into the future, have treated me better than the people who are from the same time and similar culture and customs as I. I like the concept and I want to learn more, but I don't want to hurt the both of you, either."
Does he love them? Not in that deeply, intimately romantic way. He doesn't know them well enough! But he likes them enough to know that if there was a rift, they'd choose each other. And, honestly, he expects that. He doesn't remember anyone really coming to stand by his side without wanting a favor, or remaining transient because someone else was more important than him.
no subject
Lifting his hands, he cupped the man's face. Gently. Warmly.
"You have had a lot of people in your life demand things of you or not tell you what they want. I'm Fae so that means I'm not capable of ever directly lying to you about anything. Know that so you can know everything I have to say next is completely true," he started.
"Will and I are very special to each other. It's why we're married now. But that doesn't mean you can't be special to us too. We picked you for you to be with us. It's okay if you mess up sometimes because you're new to this. We're never going to ask you to be perfect. Just. You."
He smiled a little more as his thumbs started to stroke those handsome cheeks. "I want to know you and for you to be in my life in what ever way makes you happy too. Just my friend? Or maybe as a lover? A boyfriend? More? As long as you can be happy then I will be too. I want you to be who you are and who you want to be. I want to learn about you and grow with you. I want you to come to find that we'll always pick you too just like we did when we asked you out on that date we had."
And now he was smiling brightly. "I want you. That is what I want. My only expectations of you are that I get to see you and know you want to see me too. Everything else? That's just stuff to make what we have more special and magical. As long as I get to have you in my life in any way then I have everything I well and truly want from you, Wanyin."
no subject
This was a lot to take in and he didn't know how to handle it. He could feel tears spilling over his cheeks at what Riley said. His hands reached up to cover Riley's hands. Much of it, his inner self balked. No one could be so truthful like that, could he? A small voice within goes, 'try. No one is asking more than that'.
"My birthname is Cheng. With my people, when you become an adult, you are given a courtesy name so that others who are not family or very close may address you. You and Will may call me Cheng."
He was going to do this. He might not succeed, but that was okay with them. They weren't going to hold it against him and that concept had his heart beating fast in his chest. He didn't want to let them down!
He leaned in, resting his forehead against Riley's. There was a peace here that he didn't want to disturb with any more words. A press of lips to a forehead? That's fine. But he couldn't say any more for fear of blubbering.
no subject
"The Fae always have a True Name where it can be dangerous if a human knows that name. Because it can give you power over us. I only like going by Riley but I want you to know it anyway. Llyr. That's my True Name. I want to give that to you as a gift so you can always remember that you're so special to me, Cheng," he murmured quietly to him, letting this be a moment just between them even though they were out where anyone could see them.
no subject
"Do you want to keep skating?" He couldn't handle too much more of this and needed to do something else. The intimacy between them was welcomed, but they were public. Cheng needed to do something else before he forgot he was out in public.
no subject
"Do you want to have hot chocolate with me when we're done?" Maybe a snack to go with it too.
no subject
So the day turned out alright, by Cheng's standards. Hot Chocolate after ice skating sounded perfect to him.
no subject
"Come here. Let's have fun together. From what you've told me you haven't had a lot of chances for that in your life. So I want to help you make up for lost time."