[Closed] I just wanna, I just wanna know

[sweetsleuth]

⌛ Who: Ranpo, Setsura, and Caesar
⌛ What: A cat and a bird get high. Their mother has to babysit.
⌛ When: Late April
⌛ Where: A Random Uki Bar, Gion, Kyoto
⌛ Warnings: Chaos, doodles, and sloppy attempts at flirting, probably.

Comments

[sweetsleuth]

Tha's right! You gotta come have fun with us, Caesar-kuuuun! All three of us haven't hung out before, so we should change that!

[Hopefully Sets isn't using Ranpo for support, because he's beelining over towards Caesar and just... faceplanting against his chest. And yes, the cat ears have made their appearance pretty much the moment he touches him.]

[There's a lot of touching, actually. Highpo is a little handsy, smoothing his hands up along Caesar's chest... where he's still faceplanted, his voice muffled, this is not sexy.]

Come ooon, jus' for a little while?

[casaposa]

I don't care if that-

[Fool is sad-that's how his sentence was supposed to end before every word in his vocabulary vanishes with the sudden pressure against his chest.

What the hell?

He wasn't prepared to deal with the coy woman making demands or her equally guilty counterpart who is-

Pressing his palms against him, kneading his chest like he's become more cat than man-something apparent in the ears atop his head.

Caesar ignores the way the tawny brown under his feet melts into a bright, bright neon blue-the floor didn't have a color changing palette to it before. But it didn't come from him. Didn't come from this sudden burst of affection from this idiot or the words of the woman behind him.

He pulls at the back of his hair, prying that head away from his chest and just-

Stares at him and-

Stares at her and-

He came here to have a good time.]

If you're so eager for my company, get a move on. I'm bringing you both home before you cause problems. Both of you need to learn your limits.

[chichichi]

[ Sorry, did Caesar say something? Setsura has slowly risen from the floor to peek over whatever surface at Ranpo and Caesar, whom she has been watching while slowly shoving several of their remaining edibles into a cheek at a time.

Something about this image in front of her has her looking rather intensely at the pair as she chews, edibles confined to one stuffed cheek. Ranpo against Caesar's chest, the floor lighting up under that blond, all that contact...

She doesn't say anything. Just pops another handful of edibles into her mouth and takes a moment to look Caesar dead in the eye as she does. She's going to swallow and he can't stop her and also, she is getting... an idea. ]

[sweetsleuth]

[Meanwhile, Ranpo--]

Ohhh, you're bringing us home, huh? Does that mean it's time for us to have that night we'll both remember this time?

[How can he still make this face when he's high out of his mind?? Especially while still being held back by his hair. The contrast is just goofy.]

[casaposa]

[He's torn between reaching across the gigantic leech plastered to his chest to smack the edibles out of Setsura's hand and tossing Ranpo into the river to free himself from this curse forever.

The fact he would be so bold as to say that in front of the one person who threw both of them to the ground about their last rendezvous makes him sputter for a moment-his brain at a complete standstill until-

He pinches Ranpo's nose between his fingers. Hard. The little shit and begins to walk back to one of the private rooms, ready to pull Setsura in tow, just to get a handle on this situation before he takes them into the street.]

Mamma mia-are you both joking right now? Come on.

[chichichi]

[ There is an absolute lack of protest from Setsura, who is slowly chewing the edibles as Caesar pulls her along... except she's wearing a very peculiar expressing now, and giggling.

She will giggle in an almost hushed chirping tone all the way to the private room, saying nothing.

Oh, she's got a great idea. This is perfect. ]

[sweetsleuth]

Owwww..... heeey...

[WHINES that is his NOSE!!]

[...]

[In revenge, Ranpo's gonna pants him. Probably right before they get through the door into that private room.]

[Absolute goblin of man.]

[chichichi]

[ And Setsura is going to lean forward and direct her eyes downward to Caesar's exposed doodle. ]

1/3

[casaposa]

[EX-]

[casaposa]

[-CUSE YOU??????? BOTH?????]

[casaposa]

[It's more airy than he remembers and that has to do with the fact-

His everything is exposed for the world to see, courtesy of one spoiled ass man who doesn't know how to act his age.

He practically tosses Ranpo into the private room, like an old rag doll and-

Tries to pull up his pants to keep a little of his pride.]

You too! Stop gawking and get in there!

[MOM TWO IS MAD!!! Move it Setsura!!]

[sweetsleuth]

[And Ranpo doesn't even fight this, because he's laughing so hard, he can hardly breathe. Excuse him as he just rolls around on the floor where he's thrown, his already askew kimono growing ever more askew.]

I didn't think-- hahahah, that they'd just come down like that...!!

[chichichi]

You are a thousand years too early to be giving me orders.

[ Having said so -- ]

I'll go under one condition.

[ This condition is probably related to how crestfallen she looked only a moment earlier when he pulled his pants back up. Stop ruining her plans, Caesar! ]

[casaposa]

[He has every right to be barking out orders right now. Between the laughing idiot on the ground in front of him and-

The almost disappointed look on Setsura's face-

He's already exhausted. Someone please save him.]

Are you in the position to be giving rules? I don't think so. Get in there with your-

[Pants where they belong, he hands a palm flat against his hip to keep them there. Fool him once, shame on you.]

Whatever he is to you. I won't ask twice.

[sweetsleuth]

She's my mom, obviously!

[Just all aboard the "making this weird" train.]

[But also, careful-- the longer that door is open, the more time Ranpo has to try and crawl back out where the people are. Is he rubbing against Caesar's leg like a cat?? Maybe.]

[chichichi]

[ And now, it's time to make this even weirder. ]

I'll only go if Ranpo-san shows us his doodle!

[casaposa]

[Both of them are going to get a stern talking to when this is over and Ranpo, more than likely, is going to end up tossed in the river for a bit.

He presses against him with the heel of his foot, pushing him back with a little sparking hamon, as a treat.]

His what?

1/2

[sweetsleuth]

Setsura-san... that's nasty.

[He says this in a low, very intense whisper--]

[sweetsleuth]

[But he quickly snorts into laughing again, rolling around the floor near Caesar's feet. He's gone.]

[chichichi]

[ Utterly unashamed or deterred by Ranpo's intensely whispered comment: ]

His doodle, cock, pecker, peter, member, schlong, dong --

[ She's just going to keep loudly listing words for dick if he doesn't cover her mouth. Maybe just pick her up, sling her over your shoulder, and carry her into the room, Caesar. ]

Cum gun --

[ Seriously, she's still going. ]